deepundergroundpoetry.com
Rough Edges
I find that certain evasive
nobility missing in her character
She is a well polished diamond
that can never shine;
Abundant confidence, so little material
"Wait, hold on", you’d say
…
But she staggers
Then in the end
She falls
nobility missing in her character
She is a well polished diamond
that can never shine;
Abundant confidence, so little material
"Wait, hold on", you’d say
…
But she staggers
Then in the end
She falls
Published 30th Nov 2015
| Edited 30th Mar 2023
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likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 6
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
30th Nov 2015 5:09pm
you smoothed those rough edges - a nice pithy read - and well liked. S.O
4th Dec 2015 3:01am
11th Jun 2017 11:47am
17th May 2017 3:30am
Your first lines caught me and made me want to see what followed. The second stanza is an interesting visual and metaphor.
Your third stanza, for me, is disjointed from the first two. It doesn't follow well, and seems to change the theme set up by your title and first two stanzas.
Your third stanza, for me, is disjointed from the first two. It doesn't follow well, and seems to change the theme set up by your title and first two stanzas.
17th Jun 2017 11:02pm
18th Jun 2017 7:26am
I'm doing my best. :-) You're missing the 's' on "fall" in your last line.
