deepundergroundpoetry.com
Crow Comes Courting
resplendent in a black gloss
of feathered robes...
crow's morning clicks of courtship
echo through downcast mists that
bead upon bowed shoreline willows
and genuflect in the wake
of his purposeful strut
one hesitant step before the next,
his head cocked this way and that,
listening as distant ticks
message back a reply.
The visage of his agenda
suddenly unfolds in a wingspread
that lifts above a watery canvas,
the guttural sound of pulled
stitching sends love notes receding
into estuaries, and ripples
where tadpoles skip and dart
beneath lily pads in the random and
rapid blink of each tiny vortex
of feathered robes...
crow's morning clicks of courtship
echo through downcast mists that
bead upon bowed shoreline willows
and genuflect in the wake
of his purposeful strut
one hesitant step before the next,
his head cocked this way and that,
listening as distant ticks
message back a reply.
The visage of his agenda
suddenly unfolds in a wingspread
that lifts above a watery canvas,
the guttural sound of pulled
stitching sends love notes receding
into estuaries, and ripples
where tadpoles skip and dart
beneath lily pads in the random and
rapid blink of each tiny vortex
Published 24th Nov 2015
| Edited 6th Jan 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 7
reads 801
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Anonymous
24th Nov 2015 4:58am
'crow's morning clicks of courtship
echo through downcast mists that
bead upon bowed shoreline willows '
Love the soft imagery in this stanza here, Miss Jade, and not to reflect that the rest of your piece wasn't good ~ it is *brilliant* from beginning to end. . .~ Devlin.
echo through downcast mists that
bead upon bowed shoreline willows '
Love the soft imagery in this stanza here, Miss Jade, and not to reflect that the rest of your piece wasn't good ~ it is *brilliant* from beginning to end. . .~ Devlin.
Oh no worries, dear Devlin, I appreciate that you have a "favorite" stanza in this piece. It was a delight for me to write it because of the years I used to live where I could easily hear and observe the crows that lived nearby from my 2nd floor bedroom window (a large picture window), which my mind/muse digested and gave birth to my story about the magnificent birds and their social interplay. -- Jadey <3
Anonymous
24th Nov 2015 7:54am
resplendent in a black gloss
of feathered robes...
I love the way you start the poem, but I do like the entire poem. I can see and hear them in my mind, as I do every morning when they come sit outside my bedroom window and tease my dogs. Loved the imagery.
of feathered robes...
I love the way you start the poem, but I do like the entire poem. I can see and hear them in my mind, as I do every morning when they come sit outside my bedroom window and tease my dogs. Loved the imagery.
24th Nov 2015 9:09am
Why thank you, dear Mona (if I may call you that), and further delighted to learn that you too have the experience of being near when crows come to call. They are very intelligent and fascinating to observe when it comes to their society. <3
24th Nov 2015 7:10pm
Love this not just because it's well written but because I love crows. This reminds me of my daily interaction/conversations with them. Wonderful imagery, Jade.
25th Nov 2015 00:14am
Thank you for the reading and sharing, dear heart. I know the poem would not have come out nearly as well if I hadn't had the insight and benefit of numerous observations of crows (that I also love and admire, and what characters they can be as well!) that I do. -- Jadey
"Counting Crows" -- one for sorrow, two for mirth, three for a wedding, four a birth, five brings silver, six takes wealth, seven crows a secret, more I can nae tell." Crows really echo back in our history, the same way nursery rhymes do.
I think that your poetry works because you select the highly visual but in a very careful, spare, precise, gentle way. It's not just like analogy or metaphor being whored out for the purpose of illustrating an abstract point. Rather the reverse -- geunuine detailed images of actual life, which were selected because they echo something more we may all recognize. I'd like to be so spare in my word / image selections -- it's hard (for me anyway) not to sort of "gush" with language when images come rushing that all could convey what you want to share; it can be easy to throw them all down when each seems to contribute something. But the whole is greater than the sum of the parts when each part is carefully and cleanly selected. Well done as usual, and stands out in clear imagery, which works so much better than the abtract, cerebral narratives we are swimming in.
I think that your poetry works because you select the highly visual but in a very careful, spare, precise, gentle way. It's not just like analogy or metaphor being whored out for the purpose of illustrating an abstract point. Rather the reverse -- geunuine detailed images of actual life, which were selected because they echo something more we may all recognize. I'd like to be so spare in my word / image selections -- it's hard (for me anyway) not to sort of "gush" with language when images come rushing that all could convey what you want to share; it can be easy to throw them all down when each seems to contribute something. But the whole is greater than the sum of the parts when each part is carefully and cleanly selected. Well done as usual, and stands out in clear imagery, which works so much better than the abtract, cerebral narratives we are swimming in.
