deepundergroundpoetry.com
MANGOES (voiced by Savaja)
.
Running barefoot down
narrow paths sodden by
a deafening downpour
through mangroves and palms
in this land where
no corn grows, and
sugar cane rows blind the view
from un-tilled slopes of
low-slung emerald hills.
I don't recognize the rain,
it smells of volcanic ash
and sea salt burning
as I search for the stain
hopelessly trodden,
changing its course.
If only I could find a tree
that bears familiar fruit,
and see colors or hear sounds
that point me to you,
but I'm a stranger.
This path wends to the shore
where the island comes full circle,
offering dead things in the sand
and no escape
because you're not here.
I return to the fields
as rain fades green to grey
where no one else goes,
and I pray the way
back to you will be
in an armful of mangoes.
.
Running barefoot down
narrow paths sodden by
a deafening downpour
through mangroves and palms
in this land where
no corn grows, and
sugar cane rows blind the view
from un-tilled slopes of
low-slung emerald hills.
I don't recognize the rain,
it smells of volcanic ash
and sea salt burning
as I search for the stain
hopelessly trodden,
changing its course.
If only I could find a tree
that bears familiar fruit,
and see colors or hear sounds
that point me to you,
but I'm a stranger.
This path wends to the shore
where the island comes full circle,
offering dead things in the sand
and no escape
because you're not here.
I return to the fields
as rain fades green to grey
where no one else goes,
and I pray the way
back to you will be
in an armful of mangoes.
.
Published 13th Nov 2015
| Edited 24th Jan 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 4
comments 13
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The author encourages honest critique.
8th Dec 2015 5:24am
Jade-Pandora, luv ~ :-*
This is quite an amazing poem: the island comes full circle, the poem come full circle, and you come full circle as well within it. Tis quite an artistic and deft feat, luv. :-* You rather awed me here.
You begin with such lush description, I yearn for you to love this place, yet familiarity is what you crave and, if you could find your love, what is unfamiliar and unwelcoming would become a wondrous vista, a landscape tinged with the hues of love.
However, you do not find the one you seek and, instead, are left further bereft in what is the antithesis of visions of beaches in paradise: a beach of death, rather - sere and desolate. Fleeing this graveyard, you venture back to those emerald fields only to discover they've been lost to grey rain - a dismal thing, rather.
But, when it seems all is lost, indeed, you offer verdant hope and not in the familiar that you spoke of with such yearning initially; rather, you find hope in the sumptuous succulence of mangoes. In fact, you pray the way back will be through that which was once unfamiliar, but which you are now embracing, quite viscerally, luv... :-*
Mind you, this is my interpretation. Mayhap, you'd somewhat wholly different in mind. Regardless, tis gorgeous and radiant.
What an incredible poet you are, luv! :-*
This is quite an amazing poem: the island comes full circle, the poem come full circle, and you come full circle as well within it. Tis quite an artistic and deft feat, luv. :-* You rather awed me here.
You begin with such lush description, I yearn for you to love this place, yet familiarity is what you crave and, if you could find your love, what is unfamiliar and unwelcoming would become a wondrous vista, a landscape tinged with the hues of love.
However, you do not find the one you seek and, instead, are left further bereft in what is the antithesis of visions of beaches in paradise: a beach of death, rather - sere and desolate. Fleeing this graveyard, you venture back to those emerald fields only to discover they've been lost to grey rain - a dismal thing, rather.
But, when it seems all is lost, indeed, you offer verdant hope and not in the familiar that you spoke of with such yearning initially; rather, you find hope in the sumptuous succulence of mangoes. In fact, you pray the way back will be through that which was once unfamiliar, but which you are now embracing, quite viscerally, luv... :-*
Mind you, this is my interpretation. Mayhap, you'd somewhat wholly different in mind. Regardless, tis gorgeous and radiant.
What an incredible poet you are, luv! :-*
8th Dec 2015 7:22am
Oh dear Savaja, thank you, it's as if you lived the poem while you read it through. No dear, your insight to its meaning is amazing. Other images may be gleaned from their imagination. I would hope that the reader would unconsciously use what you have interpreted as the basis to build all of their unique other visions onto .
I am humbled by your perception of my ability and word craft; a true honor for me from one I have come to respect in such a short time. <3
I am humbled by your perception of my ability and word craft; a true honor for me from one I have come to respect in such a short time. <3
24th Jan 2016 9:26am
Yes the smells - this feels like Kerala - an evocative write - written beautifully as always
24th Jan 2016 9:50am
Thank you, whale, to pad along the beach with me in the sensory visions you take with you from this piece.
24th Jan 2016 11:09am
jade, i don't know how i missed this in my updates... it would be a crying shame not to be exposed to the juxtaposition of scene [&] emotion, so flawless, so seamless one could miss it at first glance ...
your diction is enchanting, dear heart & i am swept away in the squall that has no place in such serene settings.
xo
your diction is enchanting, dear heart & i am swept away in the squall that has no place in such serene settings.
xo
dearest Katja, I'm glad you have made your way at last to this island of my words and world. You honor me greatly, to have you express how my poem appears at first to be something fleeting. You give me pleasure, to lavish in what you share with me here. Thank you for this.
24th Jan 2016 1:39pm
offering dead things in the sand
and no escape
because you're not here.
I return to the fields
as rain fades green to grey
where no one else goes,
and I pray the way
back to you will be
in an armful of mangoes.
I just love perfect literary endings... doesn't get any better...
Loved the read...
and no escape
because you're not here.
I return to the fields
as rain fades green to grey
where no one else goes,
and I pray the way
back to you will be
in an armful of mangoes.
I just love perfect literary endings... doesn't get any better...
Loved the read...
29th Feb 2016 12:58pm
Oh Geoff, I don't know how this one got away from me...
But it's never too late to thank you for your embrace of anything I've written. I'm glad you love how it ended, especially. *hugs*
--Jadey
But it's never too late to thank you for your embrace of anything I've written. I'm glad you love how it ended, especially. *hugs*
--Jadey
19th Jun 2016 5:55pm
19th Jun 2016 7:57pm
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Oct 2022 6:45pm
13th Sep 2018 2:12pm
<< post removed >>
13th Sep 2018 5:04pm
Why thank you, Tim. Wonderful going into the archives like this.
She did another of my poems around the same time: “Magi”.
🎤✍🏻
She did another of my poems around the same time: “Magi”.
🎤✍🏻
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Oct 2022 6:45pm
13th Sep 2018 5:32pm
<< post removed >>
