significance of tears

sleep slips thru my finger
dreams only caused unrest
as i'm buried beneath the rubble
weighing heavy on my chest
guess its kinda selfish
to miss you like i do
to be jealous of angels
spending all day with you
to miss our daily conversations
about everything and nothing
how you would always pick up the phone
on the third ring
it didn't matter
good or bad news
always my first urge
was to want to call you
i still catch myself dialing your number
i think it's ingrained in my brain
the only one i ever bothered to remember
since its always remained the same
guess its true what they say
old habits die hard
sometimes the reality that your gone
sting like piercing shards
so i try to think about the good times
the laughs,our talks, i was listening
even now its as if i can still smell all
good smells coming from your kitchen
i smile thinking of the many times
you saved my butt from a whippin
even as a kid i knew
just who i could run to
never ever a shred of doubt
that i was truly loved by you

sweet as pie,til rubbed the wrong way
then you'd get mean as a crocodile
to protect those you loved
you always went the extra mile
i can only hope to be blessed
with a touch of your wisdom
remembering your last words
"smile child" we ll meet again in His kingdom
i can still feel your presence
i feel covered in your love and prayer
and on days like these it gives me comfort
even tho you're no longer here
i still see your smile
just as plain as day
and those glasses on the tip of your nose
you'd pushed up to emphasize what you say
they would always slip right back down :)lol
you never did wanted to have them repaired
saying "nope, these done served me well"
even after we bought you a new pair
told me "just cause something is broken
doesn't mean it's completely useless"
you always had a way of reminding me
nothing or no one was worthless
everything under the sun has a purpose
therefore there's value to it
i don't remember you ever not wearing them
or a time when they didn't slip
funny how those little things
now have significance

but today, i feel so lost
can't seem to see my way thru
don't wanna fall to pieces
but feels like i'm coming unglued
you were the one i'd always run to
now what am i suppose to do
my strengths fading fast so
i search for serenity everyday
to tip the scales
and send peace my way
i think of all you taught me
and the preparation for lessons to come
things i hope to pass down
to my daughter and son
grasping at memories
i really wish you were here
your comforting words always
made me feel safe and secure
o granny, please yeyo
place your arms around me
for just a lil while
let me drift off to sleep  
and wake wrapped in your smile!!!