...

I like the continuation of images you have here from the words 'draped' to 'autumn mist'. Both linger in the mind like a fog rolling in. Not related to the poem, but I'm listening to a track in the background that happens to be on as I write this called "face of Melinda" by Opeth, and it sets that image perfectly. Kind of a dark feel going on there.

The other thing I like about this piece (and also echoing the dark feel) is the succession of last words on your lines. "fury" "bones" and "blood". That could tell it's own story... and not just any old blood, but reptilian blood. Cold, cold, cold. There's some hardcore sadness in this somewhere.

Thanks for the read.

I checked out "Face of Melinda" on YouTube ... Cool piece, but I loved! "Bleak" ... The lyrics are fuckn' awesome! ... Made me think, Yeah that's where I'm at.

Thanks for the read ... Thought provoking comment - and putting me on to OPETH.

Ha, you never struck me as the type to appreciate Opeth, but you're welcome. Bleak is a great track btw.

Are you trying to "profile" or "pigeon hole" me ... ? lol

Okay, I may not go to the next Opeth show if they're in town ... but great lyrics are great lyrics, I could care less who wrote them

Life is too crazy ... I checked and yeah they'll be in my town in three weeks.  

a cold fury comes through
every word...

I'm glad you could feel the rime ...

Thanks for the comment.

Anger is like armour against Love.
Will definitely keep your blood cold.

What you say is very true but it can be immobilizing too ... so I try to keep moving

Thanks for the words ... Always appreciated from you

LSP,

Anger is a cold mistress!

tornado

Yes she is ... And vicious too - she leaves teeth marks in bed ... Once on my forehead.

read your words Lo and a picture suddenly sat in front of my mind's eye...I couldn't put my finger on what/who it was...it looked a bit like the grim reaper and then it came to me...
i went searching for my tarot cards...number 5 of cups, the card of loss

Perfect comparison Kate ... I looked up - five of cups  - and it's interpretation ... Loss so haunting until one can't see the joy of what remains

The cloaked image was spot on

Thank you

Mo Chara,

In so few words, your imagery creates such a deep sense of anger---the intensity of the emotional edge bordering on revenge.....the feeling so overwhelming that all other forms of compassion are compromised...blood 'runs cold'.....and responses become as merely instinctual ( 'reptilian' ).....

(.....and for some inexplicable reason, the words--"armed with intent"--instantly filled my thoughts.)

Not exactly sure, just why....except to say that this piece leaves me a bit un-nerved !!   I sincerely hope, however, that you will consider this a  c o m p l i m e n t, as this type of response is often difficult to achieve--especially in the restricted form of Senryu.  

But Lobo.....you are a true Master of the technique!!  

Mo Chara DarkEnchantress,

I'm indeed flattered this piece stirred you so.  The term "reptilian brain" is one that is being drilled into me as of late as I seek to release and control a primordial part of my being.

I'll humbly bow to your praise as a "master" of the form ... but I'll still call myself a student so I stay hungry in my quest to become a true writer.   I know I'll get there with friends like you.

Go raibh míle maith agat

"Autumn mist" makes me think of several bands from Ireland who deal with the change of seasons in their songs. The last line reminds me of a Don Henley song, "Miss Ghost".

I just listened to "Miss Ghost" ... Cool piece! I looked at the comments left by listeners, and there's some debate as to if he's singing about a woman or drug addiction. I'm of the notion they can be one and the same.

Thanks for the read and comment.  Much appreciated.

Yes the whole album is full of references to dealing with difficult relationships which can be substances, or other people. (Including people in public office)