deepundergroundpoetry.com
LUNA TRISTE
(Written for the "Super Moon" competition)
Step right up and see!
the moon made opaque by blood
clouds obstruct sad we
Step right up and see!
the moon made opaque by blood
clouds obstruct sad we
Published 1st Oct 2015
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likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 6
reads 696
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The author encourages honest critique.
1st Oct 2015 00:39am
Good luck on the Comp
*Growls* heheh I wanna win !
lmao!!! good entry Gw..
Zazzles "D
*Growls* heheh I wanna win !
lmao!!! good entry Gw..
Zazzles "D
5th Oct 2015 00:34am
Anonymous
1st Oct 2015 3:13am
Great title GW even though these forms don't require a title, but sometimes the title makes all the difference to capture the attention.
Well thought out Senryu, I love the middle line, perfectly positioned to capture the essence of the poem.
Well thought out Senryu, I love the middle line, perfectly positioned to capture the essence of the poem.
5th Oct 2015 00:36am
1st Oct 2015 3:46pm
"I see a sad moon rising"... Both clouds and tears get in the way. "Step right up and see!" sounds like a carnival barker but the crowd is disappointed. The moon, star attraction, does its best. Really enjoyed this Gahdess. I got an unobstructed view of the lunacy, but I won't rub it in.
1st Oct 2015 6:12pm
Crow, you read me perfectly regarding the carnival barker...I tjhought "Super Moon" would be just what one would read advertising the lunar side-show. I enjoy your "lunacy" play. Thank you for you always valuable input.
