deepundergroundpoetry.com
So here I am
To say and to do
Two very different things
To promise love
And show it right
The sting of evey word
That was said
Kills me every time I rest my head
Promises never ment to be kept
So here I am
Afraid of whats to come next
Obesed with a word
that’s all it may be, a word
Ill do almost anything to hear it
never the less someone to mean it
So here I am
Should have said something while I could have
Now I fear for others cause of what I didn’t do
So here I am
Because of you
So my question is
Where are you?
Who are you going to hurt next?
so here i am
Two very different things
To promise love
And show it right
The sting of evey word
That was said
Kills me every time I rest my head
Promises never ment to be kept
So here I am
Afraid of whats to come next
Obesed with a word
that’s all it may be, a word
Ill do almost anything to hear it
never the less someone to mean it
So here I am
Should have said something while I could have
Now I fear for others cause of what I didn’t do
So here I am
Because of you
So my question is
Where are you?
Who are you going to hurt next?
so here i am
Published 10th Jun 2011
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10th Jun 2011 7:41am
This is a wonderful balance of simplicity and power. Very well written. :]
10th Jun 2011 4:16pm
just a couple of observations,.
\'\'Afraid of whats to come next
(Obesed?) with a word << do you mean Obsessed?
Also:
\'\'So here I am
Should have said something while I could have
Now I fear for others cause of what I didn’t do
(So)here I am
Because of you
So my question is
Where are you?
Who are you going to hurt next?
so here i am\'\'
The bracketed \'so\' i think could be missed out as there are a few of them already which are close together. Trimming this one away would go a long way to making this part more \'sturdy\'/without loosing the impact of the piece or what you are trying to convey.
This is just my humble opinion, of course ;)
Other than that, this is a lovely write!
Thank you for the read :)
\'\'Afraid of whats to come next
(Obesed?) with a word << do you mean Obsessed?
Also:
\'\'So here I am
Should have said something while I could have
Now I fear for others cause of what I didn’t do
(So)here I am
Because of you
So my question is
Where are you?
Who are you going to hurt next?
so here i am\'\'
The bracketed \'so\' i think could be missed out as there are a few of them already which are close together. Trimming this one away would go a long way to making this part more \'sturdy\'/without loosing the impact of the piece or what you are trying to convey.
This is just my humble opinion, of course ;)
Other than that, this is a lovely write!
Thank you for the read :)
