deepundergroundpoetry.com
meraki
ancient collision
water burst from a big bang
mudlucious planet
oceans receding
continental formation
oven dough rising
tracks on the seashore
patterns in the distant dunes
evolving Life forms
breath expands a chest
dusty resuscitation
woman claims a rib
knowledge reveals truth
from the Tree grows paradise
sun baked apple pie
self-expression birthed
in a gated garden world
imprisoned playground
voices call to them
muses beyond flesh and bone
writing a new story
i will draw your blood
and tow your life unto me
i am poetry
~
edited with guidance from LobodeSanPedro
water burst from a big bang
mudlucious planet
oceans receding
continental formation
oven dough rising
tracks on the seashore
patterns in the distant dunes
evolving Life forms
breath expands a chest
dusty resuscitation
woman claims a rib
knowledge reveals truth
from the Tree grows paradise
sun baked apple pie
self-expression birthed
in a gated garden world
imprisoned playground
voices call to them
muses beyond flesh and bone
writing a new story
i will draw your blood
and tow your life unto me
i am poetry
~
edited with guidance from LobodeSanPedro
Published 1st Sep 2015
| Edited 30th Sep 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 18
reading list entries 2
comments 15
reads 1415
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1st Sep 2015 6:49am
1st Sep 2015 6:53am
1st Sep 2015 7:19am
Good grief this is lovely. Love the mix of the science and biblical. An ideology im drawn to.
Mudlicious planet
Oven dough rising
Sun baked apple pie
Let loose from the garden paradise prison......freedom but for what?
Poetry
A beaut of an ending. With treats of words, phrases, religion, theory, science in between. In brief, power packed verses.
Just plain ol genius.
🍎Jen
Mudlicious planet
Oven dough rising
Sun baked apple pie
Let loose from the garden paradise prison......freedom but for what?
Poetry
A beaut of an ending. With treats of words, phrases, religion, theory, science in between. In brief, power packed verses.
Just plain ol genius.
🍎Jen
1st Sep 2015 9:34am
stunning meditations, reminding man of the weakness he endures in the place of the missing rib...
1st Sep 2015 12:21pm
I really love your way with
words here, pictures just
bursting out of them -
mudluscious planet..!
words here, pictures just
bursting out of them -
mudluscious planet..!
1st Sep 2015 2:03pm
Anonymous
1st Sep 2015 3:42pm
Masterfully done Ahavati, what a great joy it is to read a well composed, concise poem with analogies, references and imagery evoking layers of thoughts.
1st Sep 2015 5:55pm
Beautiful A. Ahavati. Eden comes to life. I like eating the apple is a good thing for it offers the tree of knowledge, as well as good and evil and as humans we kinda need both. I see poetry as gleefully taking the rib of the poet and the poet forever changed and a little obsessed.
1st Sep 2015 6:59pm
Ah, this was the perfect poem to read on my lunch today...like a breath of fresh air. Indeed, poetry is in everyone and everything...surrounds us on a daily basis. We just have to be open to seeing it, and as poets be willing to express its touch on our hearts. You've done a fine job of that here. Much enjoyed.
Michael
Michael
1st Sep 2015 7:12pm
"Ancient collision".. perfect word flavors, witty one ;)
"Mudliscious".. reminiscent of a fav Cummings quote..puddles come to mind w/grin..
"Breath expands a chest;
Dusty resuscitation:
Woman claims a rib. "
~as always, I smirk at your wording.. woman *claimed. yes-yes says me..
Overall- stunningly writ and felt, with sharpened lovely imagery and factual on the Poetry theory.
I love the thought of our muse being able to "write new homes".. *solace in your pen- grandly so!
~d
"Mudliscious".. reminiscent of a fav Cummings quote..puddles come to mind w/grin..
"Breath expands a chest;
Dusty resuscitation:
Woman claims a rib. "
~as always, I smirk at your wording.. woman *claimed. yes-yes says me..
Overall- stunningly writ and felt, with sharpened lovely imagery and factual on the Poetry theory.
I love the thought of our muse being able to "write new homes".. *solace in your pen- grandly so!
~d
2nd Sep 2015 4:31pm
miraculous! your words arising from deep "meditations" ( as somneonbe put it in comments abv rytly!) . feels like a subconscious vsion, a connect with the universal singularity, the cosmic soul. and how artistic as it all boils dwn to poetry!
this stanza esp. holds much as i read thru..
"self-expression birthed
in a gated garden world
imprisoned playground "
tq fr this read n keep sharing more...xx
this stanza esp. holds much as i read thru..
"self-expression birthed
in a gated garden world
imprisoned playground "
tq fr this read n keep sharing more...xx
15th Sep 2015 1:58pm
It felt as though you were leading us through the same old story at first... But the more I read the more it changed... That spin you put on a worn out biblical tale coupled with that ending really made for some good ink. Loved it.
30th Sep 2015 2:31am
i want this to be the lyrics of a djent song omg you are very talented!!
Anonymous
10th May 2018 5:31pm
Muchly enjoyed the straightforward approach of this. That fact that it doesn't adhere to rhyme scheme seperates it from so many others passed off as poetry on rhyme alone.
Same as the Universe you start off describing, I read this as a condensed sphere of information layered and radiating outward; each stanza as if the rings of Saturn.
Wonderful work! 💜😙💋
Same as the Universe you start off describing, I read this as a condensed sphere of information layered and radiating outward; each stanza as if the rings of Saturn.
Wonderful work! 💜😙💋
10th May 2018 6:00pm
