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wasn't naked, but should've been
carry your heart in a paper bag, an unpretentious sack,
at if it were an item you just purchased at a thrift shop.
no need to name it, it’s just a heart. even on a crowded
street, no one will steal it.
I would leave mine on a park bench, or on a beach in the
rain, let the waves take it. it’s been abused & broken,
knows nothing of love, now or ever again. but I can’t
release it, it remains inside me, by its own desire.
the beach beckons me on this cloudy night. there is opera in
the wind, in its soprano & tremolo pitches; a chorale chanted
by curious angels, lured by the great water’s romance.
my plaintive reverie is broken by a dark-haired woman just
ahead, & she waits as I approach. I imagine that she is lonely;
perhaps she is loneliness itself. we are strangers, but she
knows I’m a man of no wicked intentions. she knows in the
way that a woman knows.
so we walk together, she in her thin pale dress & barefoot,
as the clouds crack like blue eggs & the first drops of rain
descend. we spoke a word or two that drifted off like feathers.
or we did not speak at all.
the soldiering rain challenged us, but we did not run. instead I
held her, & discovered a brilliance in her almond eyes, as if
they were a village of refugee stars.
our thin clothing became starkly transparent in the rainfall; my
hands roamed the wet, arousing splendour of her skin, & she
sighed in surrender. how strange it was that we wore garments
at all, in the twin seduction of the beach & the rain.
the angels continued their sensual melody, louder now & with
greater passion. we kissed deeply, lost in the dawning of love’s
mystery. we would embrace this paragon, & this rebellious,
stormy night, for as long as we could cling to it…
the rain was our prison,
and the sea owned us.
(Art: Luminous Lu)
Published 25th Aug 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 25
reading list entries 6
comments 21
reads 1523
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The author encourages honest critique.
25th Aug 2015 6:34pm
25th Aug 2015 6:57pm
25th Aug 2015 7:39pm
Clothes become irrelevant with the romance, the ocean and rain. Who needs shelter, for that matter? Not with the comfort of a fine woman.
25th Aug 2015 8:13pm
John, this is wonderful. Your story, the vision you conjured up, will be etched in my mind ...
25th Aug 2015 9:08pm
John you are the master of atmospheric writes..
this is a true pleasure to read your more wistful notes..
with love Crim
this is a true pleasure to read your more wistful notes..
with love Crim
25th Aug 2015 9:50pm
Very beautiful. It reminded me of Promontory Point in Hyde Park...
It also inspired me to write from the woman's perspective:
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/214343-on-the-precipice/
It also inspired me to write from the woman's perspective:
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/214343-on-the-precipice/
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2020 3:45am
25th Aug 2015 9:59pm
<< post removed >>
25th Aug 2015 11:18pm
26th Aug 2015 00:09am
26th Aug 2015 00:22am
dear john: oh my! this is the most loveliest poem ... so sweet and yearning...this entire poem was a delicious chapter in a fantasy ..the beginning of a beautiful love story...so honest and real...loneliness itself...clouds crack like blue eggs...and: the rain was our prison and the sea owned us...ohohoh.
Anonymous
26th Aug 2015 00:56am
<< post removed >>
26th Aug 2015 2:09pm
26th Aug 2015 5:46pm
Oh.Mr Feddeler I bow to you. Your write brought about so many different emotions. From gut wrenching heart break to unrelenting passion. Truly one of your best Sir
27th Aug 2015 3:15am
"it’s just a heart" <~~ this alone.. says so much. your first stanza greatly builds around this so well
& killed me on the paper bag image. pouts equal superb writing, assuredly..;)
"there is opera in
the wind" <~~you just get *poetry sighs* here cuz, dammit, man- great capture!
"as the clouds crack like blue eggs & the first drops of rain
descend."
~lovely portrait, SirJ..
To be captured so deeply, and barefoot in the rain. Loves the pure feel of passion!
sweet nite to you ;)
~d
& killed me on the paper bag image. pouts equal superb writing, assuredly..;)
"there is opera in
the wind" <~~you just get *poetry sighs* here cuz, dammit, man- great capture!
"as the clouds crack like blue eggs & the first drops of rain
descend."
~lovely portrait, SirJ..
To be captured so deeply, and barefoot in the rain. Loves the pure feel of passion!
sweet nite to you ;)
~d
Anonymous
27th Aug 2015 7:15am
*sigh*
Anonymous
27th Aug 2015 8:09am
Timeless romance! You've become such an amazing storyteller John, magnificent language and imagery and i'm going to echo Devlin above *sigh*
27th Aug 2015 3:07pm
The heart never gives up on us even when we give up on the heart. It remains a soft bud waiting for the thaw of Spring (or, in this case a beach) even when hardened by life's experiences.
28th Aug 2015 00:03am
28th Aug 2015 10:02am
"carry your heart in a paper bag, an unpretentious sack,
at if it were an item you just purchased at a thrift shop.
no need to name it, it’s just a heart. even on a crowded
street, no one will steal it. "
I am so with the other ladies on this boat to high lands,
what? seriously my cherished.. you have to stop
messing me up like this, I leave for a couple of days
& nights only to come back in finding you..
Where are the screams when needed most? because I
can see the 'bench' your heart is placed on as well,
can hear the beating of it rapidly.. which slows down
immersively with a few approaching someones but when
they pass by...it rampages... can feel my own..
the walk was dear, much needed & calming. I embraced
the accompanying weather. A companion for (two)
at if it were an item you just purchased at a thrift shop.
no need to name it, it’s just a heart. even on a crowded
street, no one will steal it. "
I am so with the other ladies on this boat to high lands,
what? seriously my cherished.. you have to stop
messing me up like this, I leave for a couple of days
& nights only to come back in finding you..
Where are the screams when needed most? because I
can see the 'bench' your heart is placed on as well,
can hear the beating of it rapidly.. which slows down
immersively with a few approaching someones but when
they pass by...it rampages... can feel my own..
the walk was dear, much needed & calming. I embraced
the accompanying weather. A companion for (two)
5th Sep 2015 10:34am
I am highly emotional this early morning..
my own footsteps haunts me. So I came
to this piece again. More ...please,
my own footsteps haunts me. So I came
to this piece again. More ...please,
10th Jul 2016 5:17pm
