a new day

i woke up
a new day
a new burden
i lay here gazing at the ceiling
lying on my back
a new day
and i have just finished
a ravenous feat
i am heavy
weighed down
wondering whether to lie in my simple
agony
or to rise up and continue the fight
i listen to the sounds my body makes
trying to process the toxic fuel i pump into myself
day in and day out
my system can handle it now
but for how much longer
i don’t know whether to feel better or to feel worse
in this very moment
an empty wine bottle turned over on the floor
half spilled over into the mattress
i gave up
insomnia was dearest friend earlier this morning
it was an unfulfilling 2nd try
after the 2nd half of yesterday
was spent in a drunken lull
and hours of slumber until night fall
where had the day gone?
so i gave up
today was a new day
but what prompted me start so early?
usually i never start this early
a plastic wrapper sits on the floor next to me
defeat i guess
the sun is shining beautifully into the window
it is a new day
a new day of infinite possibilities
a new day of hope
a new day of hell
a new day. . .