deepundergroundpoetry.com
For Shame (For Hope)
I never asked for this
I never wanted to become a monster
I never got through to you
I never asked for what I'm served.
The person that I am doesn't like this world
The person that I am doesn't like what it sees
But more than anything, more than everything
The person that I am doesn't like me.
I hold on to this, though, this neutral moment,
I am neither happy nor sad today
I am hopeful as I hold this cure,
And I drown in my hopeful shame.
A moment in silence is all it took
To remember everything, good and bad
It's all worthy of the tears,
Whether it's how I got here or what I once had
It all slipped away so fast, the life that once was,
The energy and power of being where you want to be,
But nothing hurt so bad as the fall to where I am now,
And this hell I'm in has become part of me.
Since you read this can I pray,
That you'll be here when I go?
That I have a place to stay,
That somebody will know?
I'm holding on to this moment,
As only I can ever hold,
But if you really want to know,
I grasp my shameful hope
In my left hand
The only cure
For broken hearts
And hurtful words
Don't let me go
It's not okay
I never was
Much less today
I hold on to this moment,
And just go along
Call me a coward
Tell me I'm wrong
But to broken eyes
Of broken souls
I'm holding on
To shameful hope
I never wanted to become a monster
I never got through to you
I never asked for what I'm served.
The person that I am doesn't like this world
The person that I am doesn't like what it sees
But more than anything, more than everything
The person that I am doesn't like me.
I hold on to this, though, this neutral moment,
I am neither happy nor sad today
I am hopeful as I hold this cure,
And I drown in my hopeful shame.
A moment in silence is all it took
To remember everything, good and bad
It's all worthy of the tears,
Whether it's how I got here or what I once had
It all slipped away so fast, the life that once was,
The energy and power of being where you want to be,
But nothing hurt so bad as the fall to where I am now,
And this hell I'm in has become part of me.
Since you read this can I pray,
That you'll be here when I go?
That I have a place to stay,
That somebody will know?
I'm holding on to this moment,
As only I can ever hold,
But if you really want to know,
I grasp my shameful hope
In my left hand
The only cure
For broken hearts
And hurtful words
Don't let me go
It's not okay
I never was
Much less today
I hold on to this moment,
And just go along
Call me a coward
Tell me I'm wrong
But to broken eyes
Of broken souls
I'm holding on
To shameful hope
Published 8th Aug 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 5
reads 984
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
8th Aug 2015 2:44pm
This piece is meant to be interpretive--I didn't want to give it a single meaning. I wanted it to mean something to everyone who is broken.
Shameful hope was my substitute for whatever you hold onto to make yourself feel better, or perhaps to end the pain. Comment below what your shameful hope is, or message me if you want to talk. I can't always promise I've been through what you're going through but I can promise that I'll be there to listen.
Shameful hope was my substitute for whatever you hold onto to make yourself feel better, or perhaps to end the pain. Comment below what your shameful hope is, or message me if you want to talk. I can't always promise I've been through what you're going through but I can promise that I'll be there to listen.
25th Sep 2015 2:10pm
25th Sep 2015 2:10pm
17th Oct 2015 3:56am
21st May 2018 3:33am
