Decaying

I taste like decaying leaves
and December's bad habits
when it’s halfway through June
a love so terrifying
that it still haunts these
bones of mine.
I Let you
claw your love
into my arms
and chant your poison
into my ears
for far too long.
I wish I was one of those woman
who could say flowery words
that grow up through my veins
and flow like honey from the heart
instead of thorns to tear
through my skin, screaming.
agony, fearful weed am I.
I’m just the dead roadkill
on the side of the road
dreaming
of shoving pills down my throat
and writing these verses
flushing you from inside.
I am nothing special, no clever tricks
to cast the spell of love,
Oh I wish I could
I know it.
My skin knows it.
My mirror knows it too.
Years from now
my mind might dwell
on the way your fingers
linked between mine
and shook my
vulnerable inside,
violently.
But
I am no writer
masochist, maybe
and I refuse to get off
on your pain anymore.
The deal is done,
you've been cast aside.
Now to heal, from inside out.
Love a fairytale, for the dreamers LIKE I