deepundergroundpoetry.com
seek not this tragic heart
flip the pages of my notebook to see where I’ve been
afraid I would ever go there again
taking toll of the components of myself:
the mind that erodes, the body that destroys itself;
the heart that chases love & art, & is never satisfied.
states I’ve visited without ever setting foot in those
places: Texas, Virginia, California, Washington, Utah,
South Dakota. I booked my passage through the tenuous
admissions & restrictions of the cyber highway. and
embarked on troublesome journeys. because the obsession
of poetry is trouble. and women – women are trouble. they
know what it means to be bad.
how those small hands, smaller than the rain, spin their
silken webs of seduction: where love is a deep, solicited
kiss; it is the elysium of a romance novel, in which a man
becomes Rhett Butler, & a woman, Scarlett.
or love is a brutal hand, that beats amorously upon the
tender & accommodating buttocks of beneficent, sorrowing
females. the hand that brands their sensuous skin with
ruddy welts, laid sternly by whip & cane, the weapons of
fantasy. to alleviate them, & myself, from our sinful desires…
till I realize that love isn’t love at all, it’s the alias that
deviance goes by.
for all of it’s darkness, there is an allure in the shadows where
I’ve lingered; the divebars, motel rooms, battlefields, the beds
of whores. the women I could name, but I will not, because in
the caverns of my lonely heart, I guard the honor to keep our
dirty secrets. it’s the passion I can’t walk away from…
flip the pages of my notebook to see where I’ve been
afraid I would never go there again
(Art: David Hamilton)
Published 4th Jun 2015
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likes 20
reading list entries 4
comments 21
reads 1706
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
4th Jun 2015 8:24pm
you keep my secrets, and i'll keep yours. well done, feddeler.
"till I realize that love isn’t love at all, it’s the alias that
deviance goes by."
how very true.
"till I realize that love isn’t love at all, it’s the alias that
deviance goes by."
how very true.
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2020 3:45am
4th Jun 2015 8:39pm
<< post removed >>
4th Jun 2015 9:04pm
"..of poetry is trouble. and women – women are trouble. they
know what it means to be bad.."
~incite-ful poetry, like it!
"..I guard the honor to keep our
dirty secret.."
~gallantry, the dying rule! Sweet thoughts
just the same for the line SirJ
take care, enjoyed ;)
~d
know what it means to be bad.."
~incite-ful poetry, like it!
"..I guard the honor to keep our
dirty secret.."
~gallantry, the dying rule! Sweet thoughts
just the same for the line SirJ
take care, enjoyed ;)
~d
4th Jun 2015 9:54pm
I can understand the allure of dive bars and other dens of iniquity. The pull of darkness and dangerous women. Still, you're a man of honor, discretion assured. I like the symmetry of the short first and last stanzas. Well worth seeking out.
4th Jun 2015 10:39pm
5th Jun 2015 6:17am
4th Jun 2015 11:03pm
I'm wondering JF...revealing ... or not? I don't think I'll ever really know...so I'll just enjoy, immensely, what you write...
Anonymous
4th Jun 2015 11:23pm
clearly i've been hanging around the wrong seedy joints...
... i'll have what you're having
loved!
... i'll have what you're having
loved!
Ahhh, JohnFeddeler, luv ~ :-*
It seems to me love is not an either/or equation especially here in what you paint so vividly with a Master's brushstrokes.
You speak so oft of love and how it's not for the you in these poems, desolation and emptiness your forever companions though you search and ceaselessly move on.
Sometimes, I think those who love deepest are those who run farthest; easier to face unending loneliness than That vulnerability of letting another in... :-*
It seems to me love is not an either/or equation especially here in what you paint so vividly with a Master's brushstrokes.
You speak so oft of love and how it's not for the you in these poems, desolation and emptiness your forever companions though you search and ceaselessly move on.
Sometimes, I think those who love deepest are those who run farthest; easier to face unending loneliness than That vulnerability of letting another in... :-*
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2020 3:45am
6th Jun 2015 5:08am
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
5th Jun 2015 8:15am
The thrill of the chase will always be unsatisfying to the one chasing. Women have always been trouble since the beginning of time; but men are catching up just as quickly;). . .Excellent piece, JFeddeler. . .Enjoyed. . .xoxo, Devlin.
5th Jun 2015 8:51am
Not many words to say here, except yours rooted much into my mental & emotional lobes. Exhaling.
5th Jun 2015 1:41pm
how those small hands, smaller than the rain,
Love the cummings reference here.
There's a beauty in the shadows, in dying, and in death that is as inescapable as joy and Love.
Love the cummings reference here.
There's a beauty in the shadows, in dying, and in death that is as inescapable as joy and Love.
6th Jun 2015 4:20am
This is a wonderful reflective write...
Enjoyed the ee cummings reference as well...
Amazing ink JohnFeddeler !
Enjoyed the ee cummings reference as well...
Amazing ink JohnFeddeler !
6th Jun 2015 6:11am
Must add my comment xD
and say the way you've structured the poem
is really good
giving it a voice with the volume changing
on every few lines read
great picture too
must go check out his work
Good show John xD
and say the way you've structured the poem
is really good
giving it a voice with the volume changing
on every few lines read
great picture too
must go check out his work
Good show John xD
Anonymous
6th Jun 2015 9:25pm
Read as an echo of my own thoughts convoluted into art..and "love" is the alias that deviance goes by and many other sinister things not initially conjured, for it doesn't exist..but in the rarest of instances..Mother Theresa, Ghandi, and a few others, either shot or ignored for being exceptions to that rule
Anonymous
6th Jun 2015 9:25pm
all the lesser of us are merely playing angles..
7th Jun 2015 8:28am
"taking toll of the components of myself:
the mind that erodes, the body that destroys itself;
the heart that chases love & art, & is never satisfied."
Your gallery of pain is an intoxicating exhibit. Just can't resist the sticky web of intrigue.. thank you for writing with such conviction.. xx blue angel
the mind that erodes, the body that destroys itself;
the heart that chases love & art, & is never satisfied."
Your gallery of pain is an intoxicating exhibit. Just can't resist the sticky web of intrigue.. thank you for writing with such conviction.. xx blue angel
7th Jun 2015 1:02pm
7th Jun 2015 1:21pm
South Dakota once wanted to emancipate itself from being a Dakota. If that says anything about the state. This was an open book of your notes that reads as smooth as your other works.
8th Jun 2015 9:15am
