dismal.

 here i am again
with the thoughts
draining my life
away
again.

a cup of cream coffee burning in my hand
overcast-ed eyes lower upon it
feeling vacant as ever
emotions gone fishing
'well at least i made the coffee with some effort.'

this music is not helping
not that it should
it's influencing me
tastes of suffocation
if i weren't already dead it this feeling could kill.



i fucking hate this shit
maybe i should just die
..but my heart is saying'no.'
and 'do it you coward!'
screams my mind.

but i find myself currently
with bleeding, burned arms
over this laptop
once again
typing this shit.
fucking once again..