Standing up

Taken back by years of paint put on a surface,
years wasted? or wasted years? i can never tell the difference

I never tell myself the truth i have failed, but when i get the urge
to say ''you probably don't have to die today''
something punches my teeth out and my tongue starts to bleed,
i dont choke on the blood but i am certainly  uncomfortable

I sit there twitching with so much life inside of me,
but i have to lie very still,
because if i move a pack of wild dogs
will come and eat me for breakfast

In my dreams i am up to my neck in paint and i am a knight,
and i fight my way out with my brush, i would have a horse,
but i cant paint horses yet, but when i can i probably wont ride it,
ill set it free and ill take my armour off and ill run with the horse,
ill try and keep up for as long as i can, but then i wake up
and i realise iv'e just been trying to sleep for as long.

Standing up.