Spirits Suspend

My mind is encased,
All forethought erased,
Torturous days drag by,
I long to let go and fly.

My skin crawls,
My fingers creep slowly,
To the trigger of life,
I lack the will to pull it,
Even to set myself free.

My eyes burn,
My head throbs,
Like a heart unbroken,
All my loving words choked back,
Unspoken and unwritten.

Fingers pointed filled with blame,
Of my kindness I feel no shame,
My body yet aches,
My hands still shake.

Withdrawals rack my psyche,
I want this so badly,
I feel that my heart's lying to me.

Deny the tension,
Give way to corporeal suspension,
Fire the brimstone,
Bring on the rain,
For this world can suffer no more pain.