deepundergroundpoetry.com
Fly by
My parents warned me about men like you
they were right, and I hate to say that
You tell me you love me
but do you know what love is?
I'm an empty casing
carrying your lifeless heart in my hand
Not giving anything to anyone
not even me
I feel like a runway at an airport
all available possibilities, mostly fly by
they were right, and I hate to say that
You tell me you love me
but do you know what love is?
I'm an empty casing
carrying your lifeless heart in my hand
Not giving anything to anyone
not even me
I feel like a runway at an airport
all available possibilities, mostly fly by
Published 21st Mar 2015
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likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 7
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The author encourages honest critique.
21st Mar 2015 4:26pm
good work again - love the first two lines, always hated agreeing with my parents,.. :-)
gonna suggest two wee edits:
'Giving nothing to no one ' is a double negative possibly replace with - Not giving anything to anyone. :-)
Last line change 'fly bys' to fly by :-)
gonna suggest two wee edits:
'Giving nothing to no one ' is a double negative possibly replace with - Not giving anything to anyone. :-)
Last line change 'fly bys' to fly by :-)
21st Mar 2015 4:51pm
25th Mar 2015 4:07am
nice write. not easy to see the deception when you're standing too close to it...
25th Mar 2015 11:30am
26th Mar 2015 6:04am
"I'm an empty casing
carrying your lifeless heart in my hand" --beautiful imagery and word choice
Also, I loved the ending.
Awesome pen! ! !
carrying your lifeless heart in my hand" --beautiful imagery and word choice
Also, I loved the ending.
Awesome pen! ! !
27th Mar 2015 1:08am
22nd Apr 2017 6:35am
