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Image for the poem iron cross

iron cross



scratches I made on the calendar tallied up slowly.
not enough X’s behind me, too many days of battle
ahead. in the bunker, under the white eyes of the
flares, my heart beat for the fix of a sinfully feathered
bed, & a woman to make it warm.

when the guns have gone silent, we retreat to the
waterfront town. whiskey to drown out the screams of
the mortars. whores to drain the rage from a man’s loins.

she’s a hard woman, harder than a mercenary. she
bears the sweat of her father’s farm on her shoulders.
with government script, I purchase her for the night.
her embrace carries me beyond the mundane & the
moratoriums, & I find the burnished horizon of my
savage lust in the grip of her thighs…

and so are the destitute nights of my life reaffirmed:
I have been with whores, or I have been alone.

[how do I validate the years that have run away, rendered to
me only the gift of loneliness, but to realize that the things I  
have never had, I have never wanted. I have never wanted.]

I linger in the shadows, & I warn you, woman, don’t
get close, don’t look at me –

all of my wars are carved on my face…


(Art by Vee Speers)



Written by JohnFeddeler
Published
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