Prayer to the Devil (Revised)

I apologize to the Devil.
I am sorry I have found my way,
to ignore your temptations.
I've found I have a strong distaste
for apples, no matter how golden they
appear. I am rotten to the core.

I apologize for not living in your heat.
Your bill must shock you to death, having
the thermostat set so high forever.
The warmth sounds so nice for my heart
has spread it's cold to my shivering body.
I won't be able to soak in the hot tub
of sins; the jet bubbles of my past.
I apologize for preferring the pool.

I apologize on my mother’s behalf.
For she was raised in a household
of prayers and hymns and
“Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep”
and keeping my soul interests me
enough to act as she does.

I apologize for the name you were given.
With names like Noah and Matthew,
how were you blessed with the name
Lucifer?  No girl in her right mind
would date such a distasteful name.

(I apologize to all of the snakes.
For their bad reputation of fangs
and poison, though their poison is not
as strong, nor as evil as my poisoned mind.
There are many antidotes for theirs,
but only one to heal Luci’s toxin.
I apologize for finding it.)

Amen