A Resting Thought.

Looking through others eyes,
I know I seem to be holding on. 
They dont know that within me, my soul lingers.
And my insecurities have won.
I doubt a tear would even drop.
I doubt a heart would even sink.
For I am not worth the grief,
Nor am I worth the effort. 
This state of mind wont be brief.
Even though my words seem almost, as a relief.
I doubt a thought would even run.
I doubt you would even notice.
No matter how much I try not to,
My insides fill with self hatred and lonliness.
I cannot let the feelings go.
Is is any wonder why I become lifeless?
My life's on loan.
I doubt you even care;
I sometimes doubt, you even have a soul.
No, a smile would pass your face.
And you would wave goodbye,
And that would be the end of it.