Everlasting

such a bleak outlook, but one that happens from time to time. this is lovely.

piece to peace? or is that on purpose. i can see it either way.

Thanks, Minerva.  That's intended as "piece."  I meant this one to be taken tongue-in-cheek, so to speak.  I'm trying to lighten up the bleak outlook, although I'm not sure I chose the best location.  But "the grave's a fine and private place..."  

well, it is quite private. private, indeed. not sure many would think to look there for a consummation.

No, very few.  I'm joking, but my sense of humor might be very questionable.

I just turned "piece" to "peace."  One word can make a hell of a lot of difference.  I hope this choice makes "Everlasting" more palatable.  

I like this.  It's true that with some love, the only reconciliation and consummation occurs in death.  Unless you are talking necrophilia here...that changes the whole tone really.  

No, this isn't meant to be necrophilia, just love and consummation after the death of both parties involved.  But that might raise a few eyebrows too.  I believe I'll change "piece" to "peace."  That might make it a little less tasteless.  

Honestly, I love this poem and very much relate to it.  I DO think it would be stronger to change piece to peace but only because it causes the reader to stop and wonder if it was purposeful or accidental.  But for the record, I think this poem is terribly beautiful.  

I agree with you about the potential disruption possible with this word.  Thanks for the input and that praise, Virginia.  I just read and saved "Narcotic Delirium."  It's devastating.

Thank you!  Isn't it sad and eery how similar our two poems are?  

Yes it is.  Yours is more genuinely erotic, and there's wisdom to yours about the effect of narcotics (and drink),  The desire may be there along with technique, but satisfaction is far from guaranteed.

Wow, crow. This is so beautiful. I might be totally off here, but it reminds me of a graphic novel I once read where a teenage boy and girl make passionate love, albeit in heavy bondage, then take their own lives together. Meeting death with each other becomes a finale of the sexual process, unifying them completely. Their intense, perhaps destructive violence of passion can only rectify itself within death. Yet yours is so much softer and tender, more subtle and elusive. LOL, this is my new favorite of yours.

P.S. Excellent job!

Hauntingly reminiscent of the tragic demise of
Romeo and Juliet....in the venue 0f what (could) have taken place following the deaths of those ill-fated lovers...( the ultimate union of their souls.)

Truly enjoyed the dark, bitter-sweet beauty of this one!  

You have a wonderfully wicked wit...to your writing, mo Chara!

Thanks, Enchantress.  Maybe the wicked wit of the west.

Sir Crow darkly beautiful.. with love Crim

Thanks, Lady Crim, my even darker beauty.

A beautiful write about eternal love, you penned here Crowfly. Its darkness lend it the allure. :)

Sir Crow,
I love this beautiful dark write of love. Even in darkness love will prevail!
Lady Muse

Lady Muse,
The darkness usually prevails with me, but sometimes I like to keep the light on.
Thank you so much!
Sir Crow

Some love lasts a lifetime. Real love lasts forever. Awesome write crowfly!

An eternity, my friend.  Thank you.

Lovable, awesome and beautiful words.

Thanks for the high praise, Naked Soul.

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I am very thankful for your encouraging words