Whatever We Do

Secrets, secrets,
I live in secret
With secret names
And secret wants
And secret spellings for the words I said;
I can show you
A world you could not imagine
Merely because I can
And I can show you
Anything you want
And I will even,
If you want,
Spin them out until you believe me.

And, by the way?
The things I always somehow forgot to say?
Like what you meant
And what I wanted
And why, in the end,
It would all be okay?
All those little things that I can speak of
And never say the words?
Well, by the way,
I loved you from the start.

I've heard, I've heard,
A thousand words
And soundless cries
Asking the sky to wonder why
And give us answers for what we are
And what we feel
And how to, depending who,
Melt resistance or banish us.
I don't remember asking why
Of sea or wind or sun or sky,
All I recall
Is remembering.

Over time, my memory is false
And warps your face.
I won't remember you
In a hundred years;
I try to forget you now.
And what do you recall of me?
Do you know that face
In a greying photograph?
Do you know my name,
Do you know my place,
Do you remember the way
We smiled when sharing secrets
Secrets about how we were
And keeping the precious cards
To precious chests.
What am I, in your mind?
A stranger, an enemy,
Or am I still a friend?

And, by the way?
I know the future.
My mind will move on
Despite it all,
And I'll never know
What became of you.
And in a hundred years or so
I'll die,
And never have asked why
To a silent sky.
And by the way,
Before I once again forget to say:
I will love you at the end.