beyond surreal

my lazy eye fixed
on nothing
alcohol and pills
make up the backdrop

much to much dropping
lately...

you crawl around
inside my head, my heart
-pillar to post
linked in some fuck my life
tug-O-war...

not your fault
twas my own doing
a monkey faced bumble fuck
I could never have imagined...

not feeling sorry for myself
anymore, just utterly
stupid...

here's some brutal truth
no matter how unintentional
I fight selfish feelings
for still hoping
you'll want to love me
after I've hurt you so...

I can't help it
I covet the feeling
of you being mine...

as different as we are
the connection
is beyond
surreal...