deepundergroundpoetry.com
Methadone
For thirteen years
You held me in your bossom
Me so drugged up
Unaware I was in prison.
Everday I rose early
To drink your bitter juice
I was always in a crunch
To get my methadone and feel that rush.
I was kept isolated and alone
Swimming in your pink loveliness
It was all I needed to feel right at home.
No feelings, no love
No one could get in
No emotions allowed
With methadone this being unforgivable sin.
Awake all night
Asleep all day
Methadone you ruled my life
A king you truly reigned.
Less then one percent
Have ever succeeded to shake this habit
Crimsin you're a lifer
Freedom you can't have it.
A year later methadone free
In the one percentile
I can't belive this is me.
Getting to know who I truly am
Scary but exciting.
Trapped in that pink bubble for so long
I had abandoned my loved ones for a drug.
So I tread slowly on my shakey feet
This world for the first time facing head on
Without my methadone goggles on.
I won't say this trip has been easy
Sleepless nights, anxiety filled days
I wonder if my stomach will ever be straight.
Most days now I feel sane and secure
Still in my dreams
Methadone you do enter
To see if i'm home and lonely
You missing being my one and only.
I will succeed down this road
One day at a time as i've been told.
Getting to know myself the first hurdle
A puppet for a drug so long
It wrote my words and I just sang along.
New emotions, feelings and creativity
Feeling sexual, sexy
Is this really me?
I'm learning to see a beautiful person
No longer under a methadone haze
Less then one percent yep that's me hooray.
You held me in your bossom
Me so drugged up
Unaware I was in prison.
Everday I rose early
To drink your bitter juice
I was always in a crunch
To get my methadone and feel that rush.
I was kept isolated and alone
Swimming in your pink loveliness
It was all I needed to feel right at home.
No feelings, no love
No one could get in
No emotions allowed
With methadone this being unforgivable sin.
Awake all night
Asleep all day
Methadone you ruled my life
A king you truly reigned.
Less then one percent
Have ever succeeded to shake this habit
Crimsin you're a lifer
Freedom you can't have it.
A year later methadone free
In the one percentile
I can't belive this is me.
Getting to know who I truly am
Scary but exciting.
Trapped in that pink bubble for so long
I had abandoned my loved ones for a drug.
So I tread slowly on my shakey feet
This world for the first time facing head on
Without my methadone goggles on.
I won't say this trip has been easy
Sleepless nights, anxiety filled days
I wonder if my stomach will ever be straight.
Most days now I feel sane and secure
Still in my dreams
Methadone you do enter
To see if i'm home and lonely
You missing being my one and only.
I will succeed down this road
One day at a time as i've been told.
Getting to know myself the first hurdle
A puppet for a drug so long
It wrote my words and I just sang along.
New emotions, feelings and creativity
Feeling sexual, sexy
Is this really me?
I'm learning to see a beautiful person
No longer under a methadone haze
Less then one percent yep that's me hooray.
Published 17th Apr 2011
| Edited 28th Apr 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 2
comments 16
reads 2485
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The author encourages honest critique.
17th Apr 2011 8:53pm
an honour to read, you are indeed a beautiful person and this site is much richer for your presence x
17th Apr 2011 8:57pm
Thank you for the beautiful comment.. now I just have to get off the benzos they put me to get off the methadone..but at least my head is clear now..peace Crim :)
Anonymous
17th Apr 2011 8:57pm
I'll piggy back onto talulah's comments. A wonderful piece by an amazing poet. :)
17th Apr 2011 9:04pm
Thank you Shaman for your encouragement now they have me on benzos for psych treatment I hope to get off of those and I smoke weed every couple days just once as opposed to all day like I did when I first came off the methadone my anxiety being so high..I'm getting better it's prescribed but I hope to be completely drug free some day..ty again peace Crim
17th Apr 2011 9:50pm
17th Apr 2011 9:56pm
17th Apr 2011 11:13pm
excellent poetry brenda.
its an uphill struggle to be rid of the pink panther (over here its green)
you have a real talent for converting the real life into poetry.
more power to you!!!
its an uphill struggle to be rid of the pink panther (over here its green)
you have a real talent for converting the real life into poetry.
more power to you!!!
17th Apr 2011 11:15pm
It is even after a year I still feel it's pull..thank you for the beautiful comment..peace Brenda :)
16th May 2012 8:42pm
wow ! what a poem ! - how beautiful and full that is, likelife, may you reign in peace forever and ever :-)
18th May 2012 7:28pm
20th May 2013 4:55pm
28th May 2013 12:12pm
4th Sep 2015 1:32pm
This is an incredible testament to your will and bravery ... Bravo! I've seen two plagues devastate my beloved Harlem, heroin and crack, taking along family members as well, so I know your journey has not been an easy one.
4th Sep 2015 3:34pm
thank you LSP yes heroin addiction is a plague and it spreads like fire..
appreciate your kind thoughts on what I went through and overcame still more battles to be won though..
thank you again :)
with love and respect Crimsin
appreciate your kind thoughts on what I went through and overcame still more battles to be won though..
thank you again :)
with love and respect Crimsin
26th Apr 2016 2:42pm
Less then 1 percent... certainly right about that ! That's amazing you have 13 years. I'm amazed I made it past 13 days. I'm at 40 days today and it's so true seeing the world without "methadone goggles" on. I notice sights, smells and feelings that I never noticed before. Great poem crimson
26th Apr 2016 8:59pm
aw thank you Dave though I only have five years off methadone..
was on it thirteen years..
so happy for your forty days..
stay strong..
love Crimsin
was on it thirteen years..
so happy for your forty days..
stay strong..
love Crimsin
