Afflicted

I'm practically bursting with the feeling,
A creeping anxiety that haunts me,
A sentiment I both crave and fear.
I'm certainly afflicted: I'm bound,
But my hands are what's tied to the swinging poles,
The thoughts entwined in my mind, likes vines.
 
My wish remains unfulfilled. My will?
It remains undone. Unwilling
To hold oaths and to cast dice I ponder
If I must do such deeds, or not,
If I must gather up my strength and swim to shore,
Or if I'd better drown in blue.  
 
I think of me thinking of you,
Thinking if you think of me,
I think and attempt to battle sensations,
Like wind trying to break through ice.
I must muster the spark that'll burst the flame now,
I shall leave my head be with its doubts.
 
I'll hold an oath and cast the die,
I'll act on a whim, on a high,
Strapping up my heart dearly, smirking wryly at fate,
Not delving in reasons, not wondering why.
I've practically burst, by now, with the feeling,
And the bursting has melted the ice.