deepundergroundpoetry.com
beat down the night
don’t look for a pretty story when you come to
the seedy avenues of my jungle. it’s never pretty.
the smoke & fog of the city get thicker as they rise.
they obliterate the midnight sky & kill every star. &
the moon ain’t nothin but a big grey rock.
from the filth of the walls, my deluded mind watches
tempered metal bars emerge, real steel to keep the
growling savage of me caged. cigarettes are unfiltered
& putrid. the hurtful rain can’t wash the accusations of
ex-lovers off the windows. & the radio talks back to me.
this woman, who stays with me without logic or purpose,
parades around all barefoot in a clingy white slip, like
some slut from tobacco road. she knows I get mean after
a few drinks, yet when I tell her to get me another beer,
she brings it. she leans on my shoulders when I don’t want
to be leaned on, so I smack her. smack her hard. she
crumbles, a miserable heap, sexy & pitiful & teary-eyed.
I grab her hair, & my rattlesnake eyes tell her to pack a bag
& run. find that yellow brick road before the Big Sleep wraps
her in its cold, cold arms. but she won’t go.
I guess you like it rough, don’t you baby?
Well Don’t You!
Published 26th Sep 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 14
reading list entries 2
comments 13
reads 1770
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
OMG where do I begin?
I adore your stories, your vivid interludes!
this woman, who stays with me without logic or purpose,
parades around all barefoot in a clingy white slip, like
some slut from tobacco road. she knows I get mean after
a few drinks, yet when I tell her to get me another beer,
she brings it. she leans on my shoulders when I don’t want
to be leaned on, so I smack her. smack her hard. she
crumbles, a miserable heap, sexy & pitiful & teary-eyed.
I grab her hair, & my rattlesnake eyes tell her to pack a bag
& run. find that yellow brick road before the Big Sleep wraps
her in its cold, cold arms. but she won’t go.
I guess you like it rough, don’t you baby?
Well Don’t You!
Love this especially John!!!
Loves ya Brother!!!
Zazzles Xoxoxox
I adore your stories, your vivid interludes!
this woman, who stays with me without logic or purpose,
parades around all barefoot in a clingy white slip, like
some slut from tobacco road. she knows I get mean after
a few drinks, yet when I tell her to get me another beer,
she brings it. she leans on my shoulders when I don’t want
to be leaned on, so I smack her. smack her hard. she
crumbles, a miserable heap, sexy & pitiful & teary-eyed.
I grab her hair, & my rattlesnake eyes tell her to pack a bag
& run. find that yellow brick road before the Big Sleep wraps
her in its cold, cold arms. but she won’t go.
I guess you like it rough, don’t you baby?
Well Don’t You!
Love this especially John!!!
Loves ya Brother!!!
Zazzles Xoxoxox
26th Sep 2014 5:56am
rough play, a prisoners game, no romantic illusions
brilliant, and yes, there are times the radio talks back at me
brilliant, and yes, there are times the radio talks back at me
Anonymous
26th Sep 2014 11:02am
This piece feels like a dark and rainy night in Seattle with a highball glass, the radio, a window and smoke..very grey, as the protagonist, in his brokenness, questions the motives behind actions that are easily seen as flaws in his partner but ignores the deeper needs being met on both sides albeit for different problems...there they are in the dark cycle and the wheels just keep turning...I love the semi desperate plea that she leave....so much more going o beneath and between the lines here.
either way, enjoyed the read and respect your writing talent. well done
either way, enjoyed the read and respect your writing talent. well done
26th Sep 2014 12:32pm
Oh fuck (pardon my French, been swept away) what a hell of a write! That's so cool! And classy, as always. I bow to you, John.
26th Sep 2014 1:11pm
Anonymous
26th Sep 2014 3:56pm
Dunn it upp gud jawn
26th Sep 2014 5:04pm
Vicious write. The melancholy is so rich. I always wondered what feelings surge through a man when he wilts a woman, like this. Love the brazen tone and dark imagery. Brilliant as always. I like the interlude, your style is steely. :)
28th Sep 2014 00:40am
Brilliant narrative! N no pretty stories huh?
Well that's fine by me, especially if I can read
kinda this top notch storytelling always! :) loved it....
Well that's fine by me, especially if I can read
kinda this top notch storytelling always! :) loved it....
28th Sep 2014 8:30am
29th Sep 2014 5:04pm
1st Oct 2014 12:51pm
these film noir vignettes of yours are written with unparalleled finesse, Mister Feddeler
19th Oct 2014 4:07pm
20th Oct 2014 3:46pm
