deepundergroundpoetry.com
Citrine dreams and lemon-zest riffs
I can feel her vibes like backbeat
keeping my head nodding, nodding.
As she spins throughout the night,
leaving waves of unmellow yellow
rocking me in her wake—but, hell, I love it.
Citrine dreams and daffodils
fall fast upon my senses,
and all I can do is dance along her footsteps
down that yellow brick road,
but she's laying those golden ingots
and she's the rainbow at the end.
So DJ pump those speakers
and let the lemon-zest riffs lead us on.
** Written for the "Romance" thread, in which I had to use "unmellow yellow" as an ongoing theme for a poem about romance.
keeping my head nodding, nodding.
As she spins throughout the night,
leaving waves of unmellow yellow
rocking me in her wake—but, hell, I love it.
Citrine dreams and daffodils
fall fast upon my senses,
and all I can do is dance along her footsteps
down that yellow brick road,
but she's laying those golden ingots
and she's the rainbow at the end.
So DJ pump those speakers
and let the lemon-zest riffs lead us on.
** Written for the "Romance" thread, in which I had to use "unmellow yellow" as an ongoing theme for a poem about romance.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 0
comments 12
reads 1487
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
winner!
10th Apr 2011 8:08am
re: winner!
10th Apr 2011 8:14am
Well I don't know about that, people came out in spades for that thread... yourself included obviously. Thanks for reading and complimenting, though!
I love the vibe
10th Apr 2011 8:14am
re: I love the vibe
10th Apr 2011 8:16am
lemonade
10th Apr 2011 8:25am
i liked how you stuck on the 'yellow' theme through out the whole poem, really creative. and yes have to agree with Crim, 'bout the vibe, it's charming.
0
re: lemonade
10th Apr 2011 8:30am
Glad it gave you the right vibes, that's always a good sign in a poem. Thanks for reading/commenting.
nice
10th Apr 2011 11:27am
re: nice
10th Apr 2011 4:19pm
Thanks, it's part of the Romance thread so I really had to think hard about "yellow" words, and how to use them so they sound natural.
Comment
Anonymous
10th Apr 2011 1:32pm
This reminds me of a T. S. Eliot poem I once read about a young woman with blonde hair through which the sun danced as she moved etcetera. I hope that comparison to an old master is enough of a review for you, as there isn't much more I can say about this excellent piece.
0
re: Comment
10th Apr 2011 4:21pm
Thanks Jack, much appreciated. I must say, I didn't expect this piece to get the attention it did!
wow.
7th May 2011 4:00am
re: wow.
7th May 2011 4:27am