deepundergroundpoetry.com
Lasso
The lightning is my strobe light
As I disrobe.
Articles fall.
In cursive lighting
I am found.
Your arms snake
Up my hips and around,
Like a second skin.
Let me wear you out.
The rain unifies
My sixth sense and rationality.
I want you like how
I want that New Year's Resolution
To be my reality.
Let us feel each other
Like how the rain molests
Unsuspecting flowers.
Call me Lotus,
Let me be a Lily,
Give it to me like Roses-
Beautiful,
Dewy,
And thorny.
As I disrobe.
Articles fall.
In cursive lighting
I am found.
Your arms snake
Up my hips and around,
Like a second skin.
Let me wear you out.
The rain unifies
My sixth sense and rationality.
I want you like how
I want that New Year's Resolution
To be my reality.
Let us feel each other
Like how the rain molests
Unsuspecting flowers.
Call me Lotus,
Let me be a Lily,
Give it to me like Roses-
Beautiful,
Dewy,
And thorny.
Published 11th Jul 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 2
comments 16
reads 1202
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
11th Jul 2014 9:43am
11th Jul 2014 4:44pm
11th Jul 2014 4:35pm
11th Jul 2014 4:46pm
Thanks for always taking the time to offer a word of support.
Handsome heart you.
Stay pretty ;)
Handsome heart you.
Stay pretty ;)
12th Jul 2014 2:14am
Well, Madi. Your poem has what the entirety of the erotica genre is in dire need of, subtlety and god forsaken metaphoric taste. The abstract metaphors of flowers to intent and the personal touch to the environment are the best lines, I would have liked the opening parts to be a little less didactic but they serve their purpose.
All in, pretty fucking good. The erotica genre needs far more writers like you.
All in, pretty fucking good. The erotica genre needs far more writers like you.
12th Jul 2014 3:39am
Thank you so much for the appraise and constructive criticism. You surely stoked my ego with that!
I hope to see more of your comments so long as I write to your standards.
Azaleas and other things,
Madi
I hope to see more of your comments so long as I write to your standards.
Azaleas and other things,
Madi
12th Jul 2014 3:48am
Hah, absolutely. Nothing wrong with a bit of ego, just don't let it take off for a trip to Prague.
I'd enjoy your comments on my shit too. :-)
I'd enjoy your comments on my shit too. :-)
12th Jul 2014 9:27pm
"Let us feel each other
Like how the rain molests
Unsuspecting flowers."<--ahhh, so lovely :)
Just the right hint of sexiness! Enjoyed Madi! Xo
Like how the rain molests
Unsuspecting flowers."<--ahhh, so lovely :)
Just the right hint of sexiness! Enjoyed Madi! Xo
12th Jul 2014 9:37pm
14th Jul 2014 8:10pm
This a very sexy and erotic write Madi, it evokes sweet pictures in my head. Enjoyed it.
26th Jul 2014 6:17am
26th Jul 2014 6:19am
Anonymous
26th Jul 2014 5:48pm
"The lightning is my strobe light
As I disrobe"
-awesome!
As I disrobe"
-awesome!
Anonymous
28th Jul 2014 4:54pm
There's something about lightning that is so, so sensual... There's some really great imagery here, thanks for sharing.
24th Sep 2014 8:53pm
Anonymous
28th Sep 2014 10:26pm
I like this piece too, not such a hardcore write either, more, a gentler build up of desire to get it on or get it off, whichever way you want to look at it! Nice poem Madi.
