outsider

Where do I belong,
Why do I constantly have to look in.
I watch them with a longing,
I need to fit it.
I lay in my bed a razor in my hand,
Should I do it.
Should I open such old wounds,
Who would notice my disappearance.
Would anyone care?
I think not I mean who reads this stuff anyway,
This poetry is nothing but what I see.
Forced to watch those around me forever alone,
Forever forced to relive each life over and over.
Forced to die alone when the time comes,
Never to be happy.
What is happiness really,
Just a rush of endorphins to the brain.
A thrill one feels when the time comes to breed.
A silly feeling or just a thrill,
All they are is a group of predators longing to be a part of something.
Really what it comes down to is no one would notice,
A simple outsider quietly disappearing.