You can’t expect on demand what I freely don’t want to give!

 By Stanley Collymore

I hate you; and nothing that you say or do in
a supposed atonement for your utterly
appalling behaviour towards
me will ever ameliorate for,
far less seriously persuade me
to forgive you for the incalculable
and intentional harm you’ve spitefully
caused me; damagingly inflicted
on my professional career
and callously done
to my personal
reputation.

And why? Because in your sick and somewhat
perverse mind you took great offence to
what you regarded as my audacity in
declining what you superciliously
considered as the ultimate in
marriage proposals to me and thus my
rejection of you: God’s gift, you
see yourself as, to all men and
someone I should have been
quite flattered to have in
my life, in the process;
never mind how I
actually felt
about you.

Namely, that I don’t love you nor want to have
anything to do with you. Something which
you’re well aware of; but despite that
constituted the only reasons, as far
as I can tell, for your proposing
to me; because you’re not
used to nor can you countenance the idea
of someone genuinely ignoring you
or what you truly and unhappily
represent. And, as such, can’t
accept the reality of that,
nor does your stubborn
conceit make it any
easier for you
to do so.

Therefore, you came up with your bogus offer
of us getting married, because you love me
you say – how crass or insensitive can
one get? – hoping no doubt that I’d be terribly
impressed, fall for it all and, accordingly,
change my mind and opinions towards
you; enabling you to gain the upper
hand and, as a result, be in a
prime position to exert
your full influence
and control over me.
Well you thought wrongly,
didn’t you? As none of
that could possibly have
happened, even if I
wasn’t already
in love with
someone
else.

But you’re so used to being the centre of
attention: having all manner of men
besottedly falling over themselves to
gain your attention or be favoured
by you, that the mere thought
of someone like me – who you’ve
disappointedly realized you can’t
have and isn’t afraid to openly
tell you so – constitutes for
you a situation that you
frighteningly find
inconceivable to
believe and
intolerable
to bear.

Consequently, out of a twisted desire for revenge – by
getting your own back at me, so you think, for
having thrown this unexpected but decisive
spanner into the works of your conspiratorial plotting –
you ludicrously concluded and delude yourself that
you’ve an absolute right to impugn my integrity
and what’s more additionally destroy me in
the process; hence your vitriolic vendetta
against me. Well, go ahead and do
your worst! For I’d rather, even
unreasonably so, prefer to be a
social pariah than to imaginably,
let alone wittingly, share
any part of my life
with an ogre
like you.

© Stanley V. Collymore
8 June 2014.


Remarks:
Love, it’s often alleged and invariably said, conquers all. But analogous to achieving success in any major military campaign and finally winning that particular war, every intelligent and accomplished protagonist of the heart well knows that the dispensing of together with the full utilization of moral forces themselves set alongside the scrupulous acknowledgement of and the undaunted conferring to the subject of one’s desire what’s unquestionably their basic and inalienable rights, are just some of the key aspects to ensuring the real likelihood of realizing a stable and commendable personal relationship. Not coercion or emotional blackmail!