Staff party

Is it me
am I invisible
Do I offend                
Do I deserve this        

In a crowd of people        
I am alone
Never to be accepted
a weeping willow
In a forest of pine        

Beaten down by the emptiness
awkwardness thrust at me          
acquired graciously          
to appease the peace                                                

Wondering if things get better
Hoping that things will change
Lost in the dreams
Of my unconsciousness

Making my life miserable        
for others to be happy
it's an endless cycle
Never to be broken

Relying on the lyrics            
Song of the minute
my only friend
To keep me company

The lyrics are my soulmate
For the evening
To be replaced        
by the deafening silence
of the long drive home

Awkward conversations
To try and make me feel
As one of them
To belong with the group

Don't try, don't pity
of rather sit in my world
Alone and lost to the crowd

I welcome the lonesome
Better that then
the pity conversation    
Unwantingly thrust upon me

I wait for it to end
For the serenity
To envelope me
As it lends me the peace
and tranquility          
To make it through another day