deepundergroundpoetry.com
THE BOARDWALK
Click clack click clack click clack
my libidinous roller coaster heart
ascends the minutes
eagerly anticipating
the thrill of your loving eyes
gazing conspiratorially
into my own
electrifying my desire
smiling as a cool sea breeze
of amorous thought
refreshes my soul
gulls screaming
echo the sounds of our passion
At the summit
the spell is cast
and there you are
seated next to me
as one body we freefall
plunging into the sultry abyss
of erotic bliss
a deep pulsing tickle
excites my loins
my joy grows
as you hold me tight
Your sensual scent
throws me
into a dizzying loop-to-loop
blood rushes to my head
as our lips collide
OH WHAT EXHILARATION!
the ecstasy
of the up and down force
stealing our breath away
reaching maximum speed
lunging forward
with a sudden jolt we stop
With pure elation
we laugh
as arm in arm
we leave to stroll the boardwalk
until again
we are ready to ride
my libidinous roller coaster heart
ascends the minutes
eagerly anticipating
the thrill of your loving eyes
gazing conspiratorially
into my own
electrifying my desire
smiling as a cool sea breeze
of amorous thought
refreshes my soul
gulls screaming
echo the sounds of our passion
At the summit
the spell is cast
and there you are
seated next to me
as one body we freefall
plunging into the sultry abyss
of erotic bliss
a deep pulsing tickle
excites my loins
my joy grows
as you hold me tight
Your sensual scent
throws me
into a dizzying loop-to-loop
blood rushes to my head
as our lips collide
OH WHAT EXHILARATION!
the ecstasy
of the up and down force
stealing our breath away
reaching maximum speed
lunging forward
with a sudden jolt we stop
With pure elation
we laugh
as arm in arm
we leave to stroll the boardwalk
until again
we are ready to ride
Published 8th May 2014
| Edited 12th Jan 2018
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comments 9
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The author encourages honest critique.
8th May 2014 2:08pm
Wonderful imagery. Your poems always take me to such amazing places. Bravo! ;)
9th May 2014 00:15am
Thank you Tommie...I am there when I write I feel every curve, rise and fall...I can even smell the scene...and I love roller coasters :)
8th May 2014 2:25pm
9th May 2014 00:17am
Thank you Rose! I try to transport the reader we all need a break from reality sometimes, right?
9th May 2014 5:45am
I agree with the other two comments....
Evocative imagery -- I can see this in my mind's eye and feel it in the stirring desires of my body...
Beautifully composed, this is a gem of an erotic poem!!!
;) ♡♡♡
Evocative imagery -- I can see this in my mind's eye and feel it in the stirring desires of my body...
Beautifully composed, this is a gem of an erotic poem!!!
;) ♡♡♡
9th May 2014 00:20am
Thank you so much, Scarlet! I love that word "evocative" This started as I pondered my favorite roller coaster on the Santa Cruz boardwalk :)
10th May 2014 6:33pm
G, as all the ladies have already pointed out, this is uhm... stimulating ;-)
everything you write has a very electric undercurrent that just drags you into the scene to experience the sights, sounds and scents of your sensual work.
S1 L2 feels a little wordy imho (but it's probably just me nit picking for shits and giggles) though i know it's building the suspense of the piece. like i said, tell me to fudge off with my opinions lol
everything you write has a very electric undercurrent that just drags you into the scene to experience the sights, sounds and scents of your sensual work.
S1 L2 feels a little wordy imho (but it's probably just me nit picking for shits and giggles) though i know it's building the suspense of the piece. like i said, tell me to fudge off with my opinions lol
10th May 2014 6:42pm
I appreciate your opinions, Mia. I thank you for your thrilling commentary and I will see if I can rework s1l2
