Conflicted

These emotion,
they feel wrong. Like the
churning tides of Mother
Nature's wrath. It doesn't
feel right to lust after
another after you picked
me up and found the gem
underneath the rot and
ruin that is my mind, my
body.

I'm tormented by love and
lust. In your arms, I'm the
princess every girl wants
to be, with the prince they'd
kill to be with and yet, when
I gaze into her eyes, she takes
me to places I've never been
before. Nirvana, euphoria.
My darkness evanesces. My
pain dissipates. All by looking
into her eyes, seeing them
light up. Watching her smile
curve into the picture of
true happiness. Hearing
her voice silence my
demons. Bliss. And she hasn't
even touched me.

I can't be sure of anything
anymore. Guilt fills me but
her presence washes all
that away. I can't be sure
if I want her or you. Can't
be sure. The waves of a
stormy ocean are my mind
now. Mother Nature's wrath
is my soul. Still at war with
itself. I crave a moment of
peace but I can't find it.
Not now.