If i was not an idiot...

I am a idiot
If i had not done
The thing that will
Change my life forever
If i only keep to myself
Nothing would had happen

I stand with my heart
Beating because of my
Friend risked so much for
Me a pitiful excuse of a man
He took a bullet though his chest
For me i don't know why

All i can do is feel
The pain and agony
I felt that day as i held him
In my hands
Seeing the blood
Running down
My arms
Seeing his lifeless
Smile as he died in front
Of me