Something perfect

 
i try not to but i cant help it.
the text on the screen taunts and pulls at my brain
forcing me to react the same way.
the same way its reacted before.
made my heart flutter and die.
something i cant control yet it seems so controllable.

a stupid little sentence sends me over the edge .
i cant stop thinking about it.
but the way my brain works,
it works to be fooled.
by itself and others.
others and itself its bound by.
never stopping to be normal.
attachments where there could,
and even when there shouldn't.

a stupid insignificant obsession with you,
a new person in this stale world.
someone who makes me laugh.
i wouldn't call it a lie,
but its not truth either.
and with this,
these thoughts and feelings swirling in a whirlpool of confusion
threatening to drown me
and squeeze the last breaths out of my lungs
as it has so often done.
ruining something good with a constant thought,
clinging to something that's not there.
hoping and hoping for something that cant be there,
for something that cant be done.
we're friends,
of course.
fast friends,
already sharing words and wishes,
things most people wouldn't share in their life.
something you said you were scared to let other know,
i got to see,
to know,
to experience.
a personal thought that hadn't been shared with many others
but then shared with me.
this could mean something,
it probably doesn't.
its just me,
with my stupid little obsession,
that likes to think it does.
its just me,
with my stupid little obsession,
that ruins something
perfect.