deepundergroundpoetry.com
I'll Be Back..
I Grabbed Your Hair,
You Stand There Begging For More,
You Embedded Your Nails,
I Threw You To The Floor..
You Lay There Still,
Fear And Excitement Fighting Over Your Emotions,
Your Body Teasing Me Through The Rips In Your Clothes,
Then Silence,
The Room Stands Still,
Like An Old Movie,
Caught In The Reel..
The Only Sound Is The Beat Of Your Heart,
Imitating A Procession Of Drums,
Rapid Rhythmic Beat,
Your Body Obsolete..
In A Blink Of An Eye,
Immersed In A Waterfall,
Thousands Of Gallons
Falling Overhead,
The Rush Just Insane,
Walking A Tightrope,
A Jump From A Plane,
Descending Down At Break Neck Speed,
Faster And Faster,
Harder and harder..
Your Body Implodes,
The Feelings Immense,
Your Body Screws Up All Hard And Tense..
You Lay Recovering From Your Ordeal,
Quivering,
Shaking,
Shivering,
The Moment Surreal..
Until The Next Time,
I Head For The Door,
Until The Next Time,
When I’m Back For More.
You Stand There Begging For More,
You Embedded Your Nails,
I Threw You To The Floor..
You Lay There Still,
Fear And Excitement Fighting Over Your Emotions,
Your Body Teasing Me Through The Rips In Your Clothes,
Then Silence,
The Room Stands Still,
Like An Old Movie,
Caught In The Reel..
The Only Sound Is The Beat Of Your Heart,
Imitating A Procession Of Drums,
Rapid Rhythmic Beat,
Your Body Obsolete..
In A Blink Of An Eye,
Immersed In A Waterfall,
Thousands Of Gallons
Falling Overhead,
The Rush Just Insane,
Walking A Tightrope,
A Jump From A Plane,
Descending Down At Break Neck Speed,
Faster And Faster,
Harder and harder..
Your Body Implodes,
The Feelings Immense,
Your Body Screws Up All Hard And Tense..
You Lay Recovering From Your Ordeal,
Quivering,
Shaking,
Shivering,
The Moment Surreal..
Until The Next Time,
I Head For The Door,
Until The Next Time,
When I’m Back For More.
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likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 23
reads 1570
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
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Anonymous
7th Mar 2011 7:26pm
<< post removed >>
Luv It
7th Mar 2011 7:53pm
re: Luv It
7th Mar 2011 8:00pm
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, it really helps me carry on :o)
GANGSTA!!!
7th Mar 2011 9:44pm
comment---
aside from too much capital letters and too many unnecesary punctuations this is actually good. the word choices isn't that vulgar yet it provokes the imagination, so I say you did a good job with this.
1
re: comment---
i mostly agree with Kasandra, but you need to double check the tenses. some of it is present tense and some is past tense. good mood though. [:
1
re: comment---
7th Mar 2011 11:15pm
Hey,
Thank you loads for your help.
Lol, your not the only one to mention the capitals. I do it to help me read it properly while writing (I can't tell you why :o) also the punctuation, well I'm afraid English isnt my strong point.. or maths.. geography.. history, lol :o)
Thank you loads for your help.
Lol, your not the only one to mention the capitals. I do it to help me read it properly while writing (I can't tell you why :o) also the punctuation, well I'm afraid English isnt my strong point.. or maths.. geography.. history, lol :o)
re: re: comment---
7th Mar 2011 11:17pm
Hey,
I did actualy notice this while writing..
I tried to correct it.. and though I had, but obviously not all.. it was confusing me to be honest, lol
Thanks for your help
I did actualy notice this while writing..
I tried to correct it.. and though I had, but obviously not all.. it was confusing me to be honest, lol
Thanks for your help
Mmmmhmm
19th Mar 2011 6:01pm
...
31st Mar 2011 00:07am
re: ...
31st Mar 2011 8:38am
Lol...
Freaky ??
This is my only poem thats not from experiance. I only done it to see how many views my poems get in the "Erotica" section... and WOW, lol
Freaky ??
This is my only poem thats not from experiance. I only done it to see how many views my poems get in the "Erotica" section... and WOW, lol
re: re: ...
31st Mar 2011 2:49pm
Come on don't be shy old man you know you have a freaky side it's ok we all do just some show it more then others like muah lol nothing wrong with being sexy it's healthy...
Nice poem
Nice poem
0
re: re: ...
Anonymous
3rd Apr 2011 3:31am
<< post removed >>
re: re: re: ...
3rd Apr 2011 9:57am
Re: I'll Be Back..
29th Oct 2013 5:12pm
re: Re: I'll Be Back..
29th Oct 2013 10:03pm
Hey Angel,
Couldn't handle any more the years are catching up with me :o)
Hope things are good with you :o)
Couldn't handle any more the years are catching up with me :o)
Hope things are good with you :o)
re: Re: I'll Be Back..
25th Feb 2014 3:34pm
Hey Miss,
Thank you for taking the time to read..
And no..
at my age can't handle any more, lol :o)
Thank you for taking the time to read..
And no..
at my age can't handle any more, lol :o)
Re. I'll Be Back..
28th Sep 2017 5:32pm
Honest portrayal of the universal human desire to be raped. Rape, in literature, besides being a hidden sexual fetish, is a metaphor for sports, warfare, business competition, romance, etc. this metaphor has been hidden in traditional literature. Just hints of being ravished are given. I love how your poem begins and ends with the real physical world and then the spirit flies in between. You move from violent impulse to silence. Then the beating of the drum which invokes primal fantasies of naked savages beating war drums. Then water, primal source of life and taker of life as well as content and necessity of life. Well done on several levels: smooth and easy to read, thought provoking and sexually arousing.
1
Re: Re. I'll Be Back..
16th Nov 2017 2:00pm
Sorry only just seen your comment.
Been away but now I'm back lol
Thank you so much for your help and taking the time to write,
Thank you
Been away but now I'm back lol
Thank you so much for your help and taking the time to write,
Thank you