deepundergroundpoetry.com
Colorful Cloud
Dancing merrily along the walk
Was a girl swinging a pail of chalk.
She drew her flowers with petals of pastel pink,
And only happy thoughts her little mind did think.
She swung her pail and pranced along;
She skipped and sung to an elementary song.
"Tulips and roses may smell mighty fine,
But they surely can't taste better than Mom's Apple pie."
The young lass's big brown eyes
Shimmered with hope and ignorance of lies.
Envious of her bliss and her childhood fun
My thoughts in head, like a Ferris Wheel, spun.
I willed her to drop the pail of rainbows
So that she could no longer draw angels with halos.
A clatter sounded and a mess spewed upon the ground
And up arose this colorful cloud.
Little girl cried and shrieked, inhaling powder.
The poor little girl's dreams vanished with the hour.
She now knew the evils of the world
And she felt her insides blacken and curdle.
Was a girl swinging a pail of chalk.
She drew her flowers with petals of pastel pink,
And only happy thoughts her little mind did think.
She swung her pail and pranced along;
She skipped and sung to an elementary song.
"Tulips and roses may smell mighty fine,
But they surely can't taste better than Mom's Apple pie."
The young lass's big brown eyes
Shimmered with hope and ignorance of lies.
Envious of her bliss and her childhood fun
My thoughts in head, like a Ferris Wheel, spun.
I willed her to drop the pail of rainbows
So that she could no longer draw angels with halos.
A clatter sounded and a mess spewed upon the ground
And up arose this colorful cloud.
Little girl cried and shrieked, inhaling powder.
The poor little girl's dreams vanished with the hour.
She now knew the evils of the world
And she felt her insides blacken and curdle.
Written by
m_abbott1999
(Madi)
Published 12th Feb 2014
| Edited 18th Feb 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 0
comments 16
reads 847
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Colorful Cloud
12th Feb 2014 11:52pm
A deep and dark nursery rhyme ...this flowed so well.I loved it.Thank you. :)
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re: Re: Colorful Cloud
13th Feb 2014 00:08am
Well, thank you! I'm happy you liked this :). Not really my general type of poem, so I was hesitant to write it. Guess I'm glad I did!
Re: Colorful Cloud
13th Feb 2014 00:37am
Love this, not sure if my interpretation is similar to the other folks', but the imagery and sheer eeriness of the tone bring this one to life :)
1
re: Re: Colorful Cloud
13th Feb 2014 1:17am
Id love to hear your interpretation! Thanks for reading, I'm glad you liked it, Envoy. Your words are meaningful to me!
re: re: Re: Colorful Cloud
13th Feb 2014 1:41am
To me, the obvious interpretation is drug use, but I'm seeing it as a child whose ignorance of the world around her is keeping her safe, and as she's coming of age, her mental and physical state decline as she realizes the world she once lived in is gone (pardon if I went a little too deep on this). I'm certainly glad you think so :)
1
re: re: re: Re: Colorful Cloud
13th Feb 2014 1:50am
Interesting, I think I might like your interpretation better than my meaning. I'm generally very literal. Suburban girl meets cruel world. Drops her chalk and realizes mom won't always be cooking her pie and catering to her. And I, being jealous of that, willed her to understand these facts. Corrupting her whimsical ways.
re: re: re: re: Re: Colorful Cloud
Hmm, that's actually not too far from my viewpoint, just in a slightly different context :) It's very easy to relate to, life was so much better before we were actually taught things.
2
Re: Colorful Cloud
13th Feb 2014 2:44pm
Great style, I enjoyed reading the poem and knowing the inner workings :) thank you
0
re: Re: Colorful Cloud
Re: Colorful Cloud
16th Feb 2014 10:49pm
Well crafted scribe, great imagery , i really like the 4th stanza,and could picture a rainbow cloud!!
1
Re: Colorful Cloud
17th Feb 2014 11:42pm
A strong message withinn this story.
I gotta give you props on the stylized way you presented it as well... Just one thing...change PALE, to PAIL :)
I gotta give you props on the stylized way you presented it as well... Just one thing...change PALE, to PAIL :)
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re: Re: Colorful Cloud
Hey, thanks for pointing that out! We all make errors :). Glad you thought this was neat.
Re: Colorful Cloud
Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard Of Oz are so enticing as a young reader when you get to that point where you realize things are looking so bad for the heroine. That feeling is captured so well in this poem.
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Re: Colorful Cloud
20th Feb 2014 10:05pm
Madi, your ink is Amazing!!!
I agree with JAZZ Great feeling captured!!!
Pleasure too read!!
Sir Lancelott
I agree with JAZZ Great feeling captured!!!
Pleasure too read!!
Sir Lancelott
1
Re: Colorful Cloud
11th May 2014 00:23am
The rhyming stuff always has this thing that keeps me reading, OK, maybe not always, but my point is, even without it, this one for sure will keep me reading til the end. Very interesting poem you got here.
...and the title is really cool too.
...and the title is really cool too.
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Re: Colorful Cloud
27th May 2014 1:21am