deepundergroundpoetry.com
Day by Day
Day by day I fall more in love with you.
But I question if you want me to.
Do you love me like the way I love you?
Thoughts race as my heart slowly breaks.
I don't know if I can take this pain.
The unknown freaks me out.
The less you talk to me gives me more doubt.
Tears race down my cheeks,
As my heart slowly beats.
Why do I feel this way?
Is this Gods way of telling me something?
If you knew my thoughts... they'd push you away.
But don't you know I need you everyday?
To make things okay.
To make the darkness turn into day.
These thoughts of mine, they're like blades.
They slice me and dice me as I think through out time.
I just wish you were forever mine.
Maybe you will be, maybe you wont.
But that's okay
Because the time I spent with you was great.
But I question if you want me to.
Do you love me like the way I love you?
Thoughts race as my heart slowly breaks.
I don't know if I can take this pain.
The unknown freaks me out.
The less you talk to me gives me more doubt.
Tears race down my cheeks,
As my heart slowly beats.
Why do I feel this way?
Is this Gods way of telling me something?
If you knew my thoughts... they'd push you away.
But don't you know I need you everyday?
To make things okay.
To make the darkness turn into day.
These thoughts of mine, they're like blades.
They slice me and dice me as I think through out time.
I just wish you were forever mine.
Maybe you will be, maybe you wont.
But that's okay
Because the time I spent with you was great.
Published 4th Feb 2014
| Edited 7th Feb 2014
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5th Feb 2014 9:48am
On the whole, good. I'd be happy if someone wrote this to me.
In V.4, line 2, I think you've got a typo. Did you mean 'But don't you know I need you everyday'? Also, you rhyme 'day' in line 2 with 'day' in line 4. If you changed 'everyday' to 'come what may', you'd keep the rhyme but have some variation.
In V.4, line 2, I think you've got a typo. Did you mean 'But don't you know I need you everyday'? Also, you rhyme 'day' in line 2 with 'day' in line 4. If you changed 'everyday' to 'come what may', you'd keep the rhyme but have some variation.
7th Feb 2014 3:41am
Yes, that was a typo. Thank you for your comment!
Thank you for helping me!
Thank you for helping me!
