deepundergroundpoetry.com

My Bloody Drum

one bang, two bangs, three
my head colliding with my hands
causing more and more throbbing?
slamming books, glass, boards
anything that can make a big impact
in just one moment
bringing myself to tears
slapping my cheeks to stop them from falling
your too weak, it's disgusting
my conscience speaks
your complaining is so annoying
its why you don't have friends

shit i cant concentrate anymore
i'm tired, i want to sleep
you cant my sleep my darling
no rest for the wicked remember?
against the protests i drift away.....
WAKE UP, WAKE UP
a paging in my brain alarms me
you've been asleep for an hour!!
you haven't finished what i told you to idiot!
such a screw up
GET THE FUCK UP

i grab the glass on the counter
i smash it against the floor
i slice and scrape my skin raw
this is the punishment i deserve
for not being strong
i see the blood, i smile
i lick and suck it all up, yum
a sick satisfaction i cant explain

every mistake i make
a payment must be made
why can't i just die?
wont you please let me cry?
you can't die my darling
it's the cowards way out remember?
you're still a pussy though
but that's not how i'm going out

your whiny and sickly
you are so inconsiderate
a stupid, worthless, ungrateful BITCH
i want to scream
i want to shout
but this little secret that i keep
no one must find out

i chose to stay alone
i refuse to be hurt once again
so i'm my only friend
trust no one, feel nothing
is my motto till the end
but you can't even do that
that's why you feel sad in the end
its why your bruised up
and your face looks as bitter as dirt
my best friend and my worst enemy
the only way i'll win
is with the death of me

my body is my reward, my weakness, my failure, and my weapon
the beating of my heart
is the only thing to signal that i'm still alive
by birthday suit
the only article of armor
i am proud to posses
my sweet love
my bloody drum