Boiling point

My eyes are burning
its probably because I've rubbed them raw
its probably because i remember what i saw
i remember but not that fully
but im sure
cause i remember you shoving
your toung down my throat
i remember almost everywhere
you grabbed and groped

i remember you touching me in places
i didn't even dare to when i went in the bath
i remember all your smiles and jokes
how i cared for you
but i was more like afraid of you
i remember how you protected me from others
cause you were the only one
who was allowed to hurt me

i hate you!
I fucking HATE YOU
and everything you stand for
my teeth are painful
i want to rip them all out
i hate the fact that i remember
all those smiles i forced to please you
too young and confused to understand

but no one not too late talk
and frankly i dont want to hear myself say it
i dont want to say anything

even if i did
what difference would it make?
More havoc than im willing to take
you smile at me
as if it never happened
because if you really think about it......
If no one remembers, did it really happen?

I want to tear my skin off
i feel like bubbling acid is eating me from the inside
you look as if you care
are you feeling guilt?
Lets pretend that everything is okay
lets smile and laugh like old chums
but just so you know
im 200 seconds away
from my boiling point