Untrue Me

No one knows the real me
If they did, shocked they'd be.
Mistakes I've made time after time
If they knew, it will blow their mind.
They see a joyful smile on my face
Not having any idea what has taken place.
Lifelong battle to do what is right
Lust & mind, always a fight.
Never wanting to resist affection
Feeling so unwanted, I despise rejection.
I live a life that is so untrue
I'd lose it all, if they knew.
Giving myself away to nobody real
Just to feel a moment of thrill.
They look to me in admiration
Not knowing I'm living in desperation...

To find my love of my true self