If I were...

If i were to die..
            right now at this very moment..
     well...........
Id be okay with that..............
honest to god i would.........................
heaven or hell if its real or non fiction.....
id truly be serene......
not a care in the world...............
ya ever heard of of seroquel.....no???
well i have.
people may care...
i dont notice enough to care anymore... friends well..idk.
i just want love.....true love..not fake shit that i die inside in the end..
maybe life aint like that...and if it aint....well...
that is a shame......
maybe it isnt those that i hate or am angry at...
maybe ive been hurt all along...
it was me hurting evryone around me..my entire life...
theres no excuse for my parents shitty arise...it was me..
from birth till now.
the "fuck each peace of humanity"...."they arent of any worth mentallity" was how i was supposed to live.
mistakes..degenrates...hellll...death...was my exact pattern..
burn like a witch ona cross was my path...
21st century...
it must still exist apperently...
i loved her...them soooooooo god fuckin damn much..
it doesnt matter now..
my skin isa melted by the torching flames from down below....
shits goin good to everyone else...but soo damn miserable for me inside...
i deserve all of this for the shit ive done and i know it...
leave me be and ill take it all from the fullest extent.
peaceful dead..its never been...
well...
in my lifes destiny.. i see it now..
blood runs through me as cold as dry ice...
always has now that i see...............
dont hate me for my want of freedom..................
not everyone is meant to live forever.......
you all know that....
im making the decision of my life for wat i want finally.....not...
what everyone else wants for once....