Love and OCD

Splish splosh! Oh the glimmer.
Adorn you may on the shine.
Friend, it can't be any cleaner
So I'm proud that it is mine.
To think of it now, dear
We too have tied the knot
And so habits' now growing near,
Grime can be on you not!
Allow me to lay magic fingers
With a grin right on my face-
To immolate where dirt lingers
And time shan't be put to waste!
Simmer simmer, oh, it's normal.
Dear, you never looked better;
The acid's made you smell floral
Not only that, you're now whiter!
Oh my, your eyes have dried out-
Great! They were devils' spawn!
Not to mention your lovely mouth;
Is crisp enough to make love on.
Without breath, without impurities,
Dear, I never loved you any more
Now that you are without flees
Now that you aren't a germ's whore.