The Pretty Heroin Addict.

He says "you don't look like that"
he means a druggie.
From a good family
and feeling is if my family loved me.

It was like light switched was turned on...
and put a straw right in my nose.
People passing by with packs in their hands
me taking them non-chalantely...careful
     not to be exposed.

Now I sit here on my bed
putting out a line
wondering where it'll come from tomorrow
the money is hard to find.

I've exhausted all the money I did have...
atleast my little girl has what she needs
no thanks to me, I didn't do it
Only props to my mom for helping me.

Some times she stares at me
out the corner of her eyes...
like she sees right through all my fucking bullshit
like she knows whenever I lie.

I don't screw around for money though
I'm simply not a whore...
I don't hold out my hand when you hold out that money
or come knocking at my door.

Stealing isn't much better
not to say I've never done it...
people say that it's expected of me
typical drug addict.

So, I guess I look like the girl next door
I put my makeup and hair done every day
I dress to the nines, polish my nails
but what else is he supposed to say?

I'm fake on the outside
and crying with in...
I want to stop, I need to really
but its easier said than done.

Someday I want them to look at me
with my head held up so high
from doing something good in my life
with out getting fucking high.