You aren't there

you say your there for me but when I really open up to you, you just don’t want to see you act like you care but when I have these thoughts and break downs I ring and your never there you don’t know what It’s like, to want to die take the rope, fuck life and hold on tight when I tell you I want to die, it’s no word of a lie its all building up, I’m weak, I just want to surrender the fight I can’t sleep at night, can’t sleep anymore my constant pain, my constant heart sore all the thoughts of death, I have and suicide I tell you about them, why do you expect me to hide I thought you were the one I could turn to when it got to much well you could of fooled me, my feelings you don’t want to touch I will just stay away, I get it, crystal clear but one day suicide will take over, then maybe you will realize my fear its ok, I get it, its not happening to you so it’s not a big deal, get over it, let it pass through here’s the thing I have to say, now it’s my turn to speak never push, me to far because one day I’ll be weak and found shot dead in a car.