The Word and Verse         .Late fall -early spring edition             .P 1

The word and verse is an independent publication put together    
by members of DU for the purposes of entertainment and is in no    
way intended to offend or cause outbursts of suicide.  
   
   
From the news desk  
   
Who let the Trolls out  
   
Call us suspicious if you like but we're beginning to suspect that DU has been Troll bombed by another competing poetry site. Muggle has come up with the theory that Darkstar poetry sent two agents some time ago, who's mission was to remain sleeping (does that give them away) until such time as they were asked to wake da fuck up.    
   
However, there were problems from the start, because due to limited funds, one agent had the oxford dictionary downloaded onto his brain but hadn't the proper software to use it. and the other had only the capacity of an old Commodore 64  
   
It was Braggman who'd first suspected something afoot and he jumped into action with moves that wouldn't be amiss as scenes from The bodyguard, even going as far as checking I.D's at the door.  
   
In the end though the bungling team of agents cleverly disguised as family pulled the strap attached to their bellies and exploded their guts all over DU.  
   
The injuries are countless, the fatalities growing.  
   
God bless DU, and thank the gods that neither of them have the brains to fly.    
   
Tree's company  
   
In another attack on the very fabric of DU, at least one stalker was found to be active. Theo, the purple headed tree; took root in the community and set about branching out and 'getting to know' Magdalena, and other members. apparently going further into cyber space to touch these people in more private places.    
   
Darkstar poetry have said they planted him.    
    
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WTF!! web moments  
   
we've been searching the web to find the weird and insanely fucked up. Here's a page by Innerstanding    
   
you have to see it to believe it.  
   
 http://innerstandingisness.com/2013/02/15/race-sex-and-bdsm-on-plantation-retreats-where-black-people-go-to-serve-their-white-masters-daily-kos/  
   
   
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"It's like trying to figure out some bigger cosmic purpose like the science of how a bird flaps it's wings in Indonesia and a trailer park hooker in Colorado finally gets her period preventing the birth of another serial killer or denying the conception of  a future world changing philosopher."    
   
-Jon rot  
   
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Mr and Mrs  
   
aww folks, I can't tell you how many times I nearly threw up during the course of this competition. these contestants must be the sweetest four people on the planet. I think if any one of them came within a five meter radius of the rest of us, earth would surly implode.    
   
first up is, without doubt, one half of the beautiful union of mind and soul. Rachel O' and Soul man.    
   
Ken, great to have you here m'man. first can I get you to describe Rachel in a few words?    
   
Ken says "Rachel is an amazing blend of quick wit, sultry sassiness,  genuine compassion, intelligence and an infectious love of life"    
   
Ok reel it in a bit there Ken, this is a family show. question one:  
   
Which if these would get Rachel more frustrated?  
   
death of a celebrity  
an increase in the price of drink  
a small crack in the heel of her shoe  
   
Ken said:  
   
"Well none would greatly bother her but if its a must choose   ...Increase in the price of drink"  
   
   
...I'm not sure Rachel, but I think he just called you an alcho, I'll follow up with something relative    
   
question number two:  
   
Which one of you would be the most hung over after a good night out?  
   
Ken says:    
   
"I've never gotten a hangover in my life, so it'd have to be Rachel"    
   
question three  
   
what's the first personal possession Rachel would grab in a house-fire (excluding children)?    
   
Ken says:  
   
"her pets"    
   
that's right Ken, use as few words as humanly possible, after the revelations in the first two questions you could probably just nod or shake your head the next time  
   
question four  
   
4)    
   
How much do you think Rachel would pay for you in an auction  
   
$5,000    
$10,000  
unlimited  
   
Ken says "unlimited for sure"    
   
now there's a man with confidence ...and an eye on your savings Rachel    
   
question five    
   
If Rachel found herself at an open air music festival, and upon going to one of the portaloos discovered there was no toilet roll, would she use her socks, knickers or none of the above to clean up, as it were.  
   
Ken says "none of the above"    
   
Oh my god, now he's saying you're unhygienic Rachel   ...I am sooo sorry    
   
Ken, come on man ..get a hold of yourself    
   
question six  
   
what was the most memorable conversation you've had with Rachel about?    
   
Ken says  
   
"It would be about how in sync we are and how our worldviews are almost identical"    
   
..riveting stuff m'man, you had me at identical    
   
questions seven    
   
How do you know when Rachel is about to get angry over something. are there any signs?  
   
Ken says    
   
"She tells me, no signs just open communication. Never been angry with or at me"    
   
ok, well that's excitement right there, crush grape excitement.    
   
question eight    
   
8)  
   
what do you think Rachel thinks is her worst quality or feature?  
   
Ken says    
   
"Not saying no to some people when it would be in her best interest to do so"  
   
Crikey! now he's calling her a slapper. folks, at this stage I'd like to have cut the questions but the truth must live, so I'll give it an incubator  
   
question nine  ..you bastard    
   
what (best guess)  is Rachel's bra size?  
   
Ken said: "I'll pass out of respect for her"    
   
what Muggle read:  "I'll pass out if I see them"    
   
question ten    
   
If Rachel won a backstage pass to meet any group/band/singer, who would it be?  
   
Ken says "Aerosmith"    
   
   
Ken good sir, thank you for being a good sport and taking part in this competition. you're a good man  m'man    
   
   
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"It's funny. Whenever I think of Ray now I automatically think of crocodile penises. Thanks for that."  _Missy Sub  
   
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Savage eye  
   
It's been a bit of an era here at Muggle HQ, what with the great walk out by martyrs Hemi, Jack and  Jesta. The place just isn't the same without them.  
   
what we'd like to know is why Craic is still here (don't take that the wrong way Lepp) ...so the rest of the team walk out in disgust at the sorry state of affairs the site is in,  and you ..you turn the lights off in your avatar.  
   
wow Craic, that right there is martyrdom in a nutshell. I can see it now. Ireland 1916, battle of independence, British troops shelling Dublin city, and what did the Craic family do ...they turned the lights out ..in a heroic display of bravery.  
   
It hasn't all been doom and gloom though, apparently Miz Grinz is human after all, and in a moment of actual feeling, thanked Atakti most publicly for helping her out of the bed. however the momentum has stalled a little and as such, she's not managed it much of late.  
   
In a blatant show of modesty, aheartflash has donned what could be described as provocative attire and invited people to write a poem about what they see. she has however appealed for restraint regarding one liners and sarcasm, so lines like 'Hey sailor, I'm your physician ..assume the position' would not be welcome. hence the overall flooding of entries      
   
   
The Webstress, in an effort to keep the population of Dupass in check, has appointed three new sheriffs. and she means business this time, with her new crack team of moderators that we call 'The teacher, the Tank and the Doctor. yes, one will teach you half to death, another will beat you half to death and the other will have all your organs in a box while in the half to death state.  
   
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Mr and Mrs    
   
Ok, without further ado, I give you Mr A, one half of team Trainspotting, long time friends MR A and Violet    
   
Mr A, thanks for taking the time m'man. yeah, that's cool man, you can drink the tins of Dutch gold if you like.   ..no thanks, I'm trying to stay away from pills but knock yourself out man.  
   
right, if you could say a few words 'bout Violet we'll get this show on the road.  
   
Which if these would get Violet more frustrated?  
   
Death of a celebrity  
An increase in the price of drink  
A small crack in the heel of her shoe  
   
Mr A says;    
"I'd definitely imagine it to be the crack, not because she's female, but because the other two are nonessential"  
   
yes, I hear the crack is a bit of an epidemic in Glasgow.be careful there Mr A, she'd have your wallet gone in a heartbeat  
   
question number two:  
   
Which one of you would be the most hung over after a good night out?  
   
Mr A says  
"She's older, so youth's stamina and recovery rate is on my side—or should be, at least"  
   
so you'll be the one cooking the breakfast then, good sir    
   
question three  
   
what's the first personal possession Violet would grab in a house-fire (excluding children)?  
   
Mr A says    
"I'd like to think her tattoo portfolio, and drawings, but maybe just her phone(she is female)"  
   
yes, ...yes she is    
   
question four  
   
How much do you think Violet would pay for you in an auction  
   
$5,000    
$10,000  
unlimited  
   
Mr A says  
"Nothing. It'd be an insult to put a price on me, she knows that, man!"  
   
   
question five    
   
If Violet found herself at an open air music festival, and upon going to one of the portaloos discovered there was no toilet roll, would she use her socks, knickers or none of the above to clean up, as it were?  
   
Mr A says  
Definitely her novelty knickers, as they are not a necessary item, anyway.  
   
question six  
   
what was the most memorable conversation you've had with Violet about?    
   
Mr A says  
"Can't remember...  
Oh, about space and alien bacteria, and how,we are all salmon"    
   
*sigh*  lemme shake your hand sir.   Keneth, did you hear that, space ...and we're all salmon.  write it down man, It'll come in handy.  
   
question seven  
   
what do you think Violet thinks is her worst quality or feature?  
Mr A says  
   
"I think her worst quality could be her boundless kindness, or morning flatulence"  
   
question eight  
   
what do you think (best guess) violets cup size is?  
   
Mr A says  
"I'd say her bra size is one and a half hands per mammary"  
   
question nine    
   
If Violet won a backstage pass to meet any group/band/singer, who would it be?  
   
Mr a says  
"I'll guess at Portishead, but maybe it's none, because people are boring"    
   
   
and question ten    
   
How do you know when Violet is about to get angry over something. are there any signs?  
   
Mr A says  
   
 "She never gets angry, just ignorant"  
   
    
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AscensionES: "Pointless, irrelevant shit is Matthew's specialty"  
   
Matt: "I'd call it a forte"  
   
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 A bit of Craic  
   
I've been thinking lately about imagination, I think it's a great asset to have if you've an inkling towards writing.not totally necessary, but would certainly open up the number of genres available.  
   
There's an old broken convent school at the top of a small mountain beside me. I went up to have a look at it, brought my 11 year old with me, he'd been spending hours playing Minecraft so I figured the break would do him good.  
   
The place had an ominous feel to it, especially with the backdrop of black clouds hanging over it, and my son thought it was a good time to recount the story he'd heard about 'Bloody Mary' turning up in the corridors screaming at the people to get out, and I wondered if we should wait for Scooby-doo and the team to roll up in the mystery machine    
   
We got into the convent to have a look around. It was getting dark so we didn't have all that much time. the ground floor was classrooms, long since vandalized, only the portraits of Christ and Mary were left untouched, which I found hilarious    
   
My kid got brave enough to walk down a corridor on his own, he disappeared into a classroom for about ten seconds, then came bursting out the door, white as a ghost wanting to cry but using all his energy to run up the corridor.  
   
"RUUUUUUUUUN DAAAAAD!!!!!"  he shouted while he passed me. I could feel the wind of him. when I caught up with him and asked why he was shaking like an epileptic, he pointed to the classroom and said  "she left a message for us written in blood it said 'GET OUT!, we should go"    
   
so, I'd a choice. I could either bring him up to the classroom and show him it was just red paint on the wall, or we could leave and he'd have a scary story to tell his friends.  
   
what would you have done? write your answers down and put them in a self addressed envelope, then post it on a Tuesday morning. or write it in the comments below, whichever is handy-st.  
   
          
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Braggman: "DU is a place mostly for help, support and camaraderie (in a very loose sociopathic way)"  
   
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Something for the weekend    
   
ah, let's face it, there's no money in poetry, don't take our word for it, ask Poetryman he'll tell you straight.(we'd like to congratulate Poetryman for making it this far, this time last year things were looking hairy for him but he's still here alive and clicking, well done JJ  ..well fuckin done) so we've been looking for practical ways to help save the few shekels that you've got.  
   
we found this beauty on a page called True Activist and totally recommend you try it.  
   
http://www.trueactivist.com/gab_gallery/how-to-turn-a-beer-can-into-the-only-camping-stove-youll-ever-need/