deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Same Boat
I get drunk
and think about
the different ways
we do the same things.
I smoke too many cigarettes
so that my head
begins to spin.
I look back
on poetry like this
and kick myself
for the accidental
rhyme and rhythm:
This is life;
it isn't a song,
so don't write
like one.
I almost did it again...
Most would say I did.
Somethings are impossible
to avoid,
especially at one am
when you're whistling
through life, drunk
with a pen
in your hand
and think about
the different ways
we do the same things.
I smoke too many cigarettes
so that my head
begins to spin.
I look back
on poetry like this
and kick myself
for the accidental
rhyme and rhythm:
This is life;
it isn't a song,
so don't write
like one.
I almost did it again...
Most would say I did.
Somethings are impossible
to avoid,
especially at one am
when you're whistling
through life, drunk
with a pen
in your hand
Published 29th Jan 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 2
comments 8
reads 1325
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
29th Jan 2011 00:14am
This is easy, simple, I smiled the entire way through it. Reasons I liked it: You kick yourself for it, it's not a punishable offence, just yet, to have a little skip to a step. (Though you'll probably hate me for that simile) You have a somewhat, and my apologies for the honesty, grumpy persona but this was actually quite bittersweet. 'I almost did it again...Most would say I did.' was my favourite part of it.
One little thing, if you click modify and then save again it would toggle text it so there won't be the <BR>'s through it that make a quality piece awkward to read. =]
LA.
One little thing, if you click modify and then save again it would toggle text it so there won't be the <BR>'s through it that make a quality piece awkward to read. =]
LA.
29th Jan 2011 00:23am
I thank you for the editorial advice, and offer a sincere appreciation for your liking of the lighter side! Merci beaucoup
Anonymous
31st Jan 2011 10:44pm
after reading the first few lines that I would criticise this poem.
I can't do that now after really enjoying the way you turned this in on itself.
It reads like bona fide Cohen..
Great stuff
S
I can't do that now after really enjoying the way you turned this in on itself.
It reads like bona fide Cohen..
Great stuff
S
3rd Feb 2011 11:22pm
I used to write
like this
all the time
only the raw
sufficient words would do
the meat
off the bones
indeed broken by sticks and stones
and mended
with paper and pen
and I fucking hate
accidental rhyming
too
like this
all the time
only the raw
sufficient words would do
the meat
off the bones
indeed broken by sticks and stones
and mended
with paper and pen
and I fucking hate
accidental rhyming
too
Anonymous
6th Feb 2011 7:35pm
but we'll agree to disagree as I think life is a song...... At least mine feels like that
- Jer
- Jer
6th Feb 2011 8:03pm
6th Feb 2011 8:26pm
i always enjoy the writes, but that was a sweet read.
"I look back
on poetry like this
and kick myself
for the accidental
rhyme and rhythm:"
fab. nice to meet you, Mr. Townend. [:
"I look back
on poetry like this
and kick myself
for the accidental
rhyme and rhythm:"
fab. nice to meet you, Mr. Townend. [:
7th Feb 2011 8:17am
How you can have that mind...that face...AND that voice. You are gifted in many ways....would love to see more
