deepundergroundpoetry.com
dEATH OF A mETAPHOR
Why does a paper feel like so many bars
When it is supposed to be the deepest landscape
Where I could run forever
And never tire
Of words,
Phrases,
Or this image-
My insides sprawled across an off white canvas
In-between lines and
Under the influence.
1/24/11
When it is supposed to be the deepest landscape
Where I could run forever
And never tire
Of words,
Phrases,
Or this image-
My insides sprawled across an off white canvas
In-between lines and
Under the influence.
1/24/11
Published 28th Jan 2011
| Edited 19th Feb 2011
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likes 2
reading list entries 2
comments 9
reads 1040
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
28th Jan 2011 8:57am
this again is another great poem... but was it meant to say death of a metaphor ?>
thats my only ditty i found about it. the rest was beautiful
thats my only ditty i found about it. the rest was beautiful
28th Jan 2011 10:33pm
16th Feb 2011 8:38pm
didn't leave that many comments and intend to read some more soon.
wonderful stuff. the metaphors are SO sophisticated.
(and SO many :)
17th Feb 2011 00:12am
16th Feb 2011 9:13pm
...is a fucking dragon! No way you could not talk about it, notice it, respect it. Way to rock this. You have some really good metaphors. And that last line is a dragon slayer.
17th Feb 2011 00:13am
thank you :)
do you like the last line? i was considering changing it
do you like the last line? i was considering changing it
17th Feb 2011 6:05am
well, you could change it to:
"Over my head."
or not...
so much depends on how strong you feel.
"Over my head."
or not...
so much depends on how strong you feel.
19th Feb 2011 00:34am
i submitted the poem to a contest and changed the last line and just changed it hear. what do u think ?
20th Feb 2011 6:27am
