Don't want to want love

It is really clear that
I don't want a boyfriend
but I still miss someone holding me from behind
looking at me like I'm this most beautiful and precious thing in the world

People don't want relationships
doesn't mean they don't want love either
but how can you have latter without having former

love is such a rare and difficult thing
that I'm tired of searching or waiting
Tell me
Tell me how I can stop wanting it
and just be happy
even without it