If I Only Had the Money

If I had money you know what I’d do?
I’d pay you to go away you know it’s true
I’d pay you not to make me blue
I’d pay you to say we’re done we’re though
If only I had the money.
If I had the money you know what you’d see?
You staying away from fucked up me
Me kicking you in the crotch with my knee
You know everything has a fee
If only I had the money.
If I had money you know what I’d say
You’re nothing nice you’re not okay
You broke my heart now you’ll pay
You need to go on your merry old way
If only I had the money
You know what you’d see if I had a lot of green
Someone nice turning evil and mean
I’d fuck you up until you screamed
Get you busted by causing a big scene
If only I had the money.
If I were rich and had a lot of cash
I’d pay someone to fuck you up and kick your ass
Drag you behind a car going real fast
Make you think today was going to be your last
If only I had the money.